Never Be the Same
Chapter 23: Kendra's POV
The three of us walked out of the mall,
chattering happily as we walked to Dana's car.
It was always good to catch up with my friends, after being away
for a while.
I wasn't rooming with Dana anymore, especially now that she
had moved into an apartment near campus on her own, and my hours
at the coffeeshop were much shorter.
Instead of working a total of about 20 hours a week, I had around
8 since I was now juggling being a full time student and parent
at the same time.
I really did miss my old life, where I was stressing out about
the amount of books I had to read, not the amount of bills I had
"You're going back home too, right Kenny?" Dana
asked as she pulled out of the parking lot.
I nodded, hugging my jacket closer as I waited for the car to
Even though we lived in California, there were a few days where
it was chilly enough to be wearing a coat and jeans, despite what
people may say.
Less than 10 minutes later, Dana was pulling into the driveway of
I reached over to the driver's seat to give my best friend a
squeeze, then turned around to give Jamie one as well.
"Thanks D, I'll talk to you guys tomorrow!" I
shouted over my shoulder as I watched Jamie hop into the
passenger's seat and give me a wave
Dana did the same, before turning her attention to her driving
and pulling out to leave.
I reached into my sidebag to pull out my house key, and walked
"Sam?" I called out into the spacious house.
"In here." I heard him call back, from what sounded
like the kitchen.
I walked inside, seeing him seated in one of the barstools at the
He was hunched over, and had his head leaning on his hand as he
tried hushing the crying baby.
"I just fed you," he grunted, lifting Alana over his
shoulder and rubbing her back soothingly.
I stood for a moment as he turned his attention to the bunch of
papers in front of him, then the calculater beside him.
"Kendra, we're screwed." he sighed as I took the
child out of his arms.
I rested Alana at my hip, and looked at the dozens of bills he
had sprawled out.
"What do you mean?" I asked, bouncing Alana softly to
calm her down.
"What do I mean?" he said, sounding agrivated.
He stood up, and fixed himself a glass of water to cool off.
I took that moment to take the now asleep Alana upstairs into her
As I got back down, Sam looked angrier as ever.
I pulled a seat beside him, and followed his gaze at the papers
filled with dollar signs and zeros.
"Kendra, we are so behind on our mortage, and at this rate,
I'm going to be in debt from college money until Alana has
grandchildren." Sam stated, frustration trickling into his
I wrapped my arm around him and rubbed his back trying to calm
"Don't worry, we'll be fine." I said, in hopes
to reassure him the slightest bit.
Sam's blue eyes snapped to me and stared deep into my green
"We'll get through this? Kendra, did you even hear me?
We could be put into foreclosure!" he shouted, low enough
not to wake up Alana upstairs.
"Well, what do you want me to say? Oh, it's okay,
we'll starve to save money?" I mumbled back.
Sam's sucked in a deep breath, and pounded his fist down on
the counter as he stood.
"Maybe if you asked for a few extra hours, we'd get a
little extra money." he shot back.
I narrowed my eyes at him, standing up as well.
"Are you kidding me? I'm here everyday watching our
daughter, while you're God knows where!" I spat.
Sam looked at me as if he was about to rip his hair out, and
truthfully, it made me utterly terrified.
What if Sam got mad enough, and he hit me?
"I'm going to school and working three f&%@ing jobs,
Kendra!" He yelled out, holding up three fingers.
I bit my lip, staying quiet for a moment to make sure he
didn't wake Alana up.
"So if we're both working, what will happen to our
infant daughter?!" I yelled back, not even caring at this
point, to be honest.
Sam paced back and forth, if he was any madder, smoke would come
out of his ears.
I'd never seen him this angry, especially over something like
I looked over to the Christmas tree we had set up in the corner
of the living room, trying to find the littlest bit of peace for
a slight second.
"I can't do this Kendra, I hate fighting with you."
he said, his voice slowly going back to normal volume.
My face softened, and I almost fell back into his arms.
That is, until Sam turned and began walking towards the
"Where are you going?" I asked, sharply to him.
He spun around as he reached the top step, his eyes filled with
"I'm getting my things together, I'm going by Sean
and Kyle for the night." he softly said.
My face dropped in shock, and I rushed up the steps and into our
"What? Why?" I threw each question out as he pulled the
suitcase out from our closet.
"I just said it, Ken, I can't do this anymore." he
said, not looking me at all.
I felt my eyes well up with tears, and I dropped onto our bed as
I watched him pack.
I thought about stopping him multiple times, but I didn't
know how to.
I sobbed even harder as he zipped up the suitcase, and tossed it
onto the floor.
"Kendra, Kendra," Sam said, walking to me.
I stood up, and threw my body into his open arms, hysterical
crying in his chest.
"Babe," he whispered, "I love you, so much. But
like I said, I hate fighting with you, more than
I nodded, furiously wiping at my tear-stained cheeks.
"I think we need a few weeks apart, maybe longer, just to
clear our minds from this stress." he rubbed the back of my
hair as I still cried.
As I settled down, the words finally processed, only a few weeks,
Maybe he was right, most of the time, he actually was.
"I love you, and Alana, more than any other thing on this
entire planet." he mumbled, before planting a single kiss on
my lips, and leaving me alone for the night.
Gaaaaah, I went back to this. I couldn't