I admit it, it's all my fault that your no
longer in my life and it kills me to think about. I let everything
get the better of me and I'm sorry. It never occurred to me how
much you truly cared, how much you wanted me in you're life
again. But not the person I've become you want the old me. I
want that person to, I lost myself along the way and I don't
know how to find that girl again. I'm not myself anymore and
that scares me. I hate having to slap on a fake smile everyday and
having to put up a front for everyone. I hate having to pretend
I'm strong when in reality I'm completely destroyed.
If I ever hurt you I'm sorry , I wish I could take back
the past 6 months the past year even and start it all over again.
Take back all the mistakes and lies. All the pain and
disappointment. I owe you a lot, you proved to me that not everyone
is alike. You let me show you the real me, without any
judgement I've never had that before, I've never been
able to 100% break down my walls and let someone in.
You're an amazing person and you mean so much to me. It
wasn't suppose to be this way. But, I guess that's how
life is everything doesn't always go the way it's suppose
to. I'm sorry I messed everything up, I'm
sorry I'm not myself anymore. But maybe, it was suppose to
be this way all along. We're two completely different
people from two completely different worlds who feel for each
other. Maybe I should have seen it coming all along.
</3
Sorry it doesn't really mean anything it's a compete
vent.