samjam

When life knocks me down. Most of the time I don't get up I take advantage of being down and take a nap

You expect me to believe YOU that you aren't lying about something that you DID. When you've lied before and look your lying again. Smart kid.....

'Sorry' and 'My bad' mean the same thing 

Unless your at a funeral 

*start to drop your phone*
me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*suddenly becomes James Bond*
me: YES I caught it
*trips and drops phone*
#superpowerswheredidyougo?

Treat her like a queen and she will treat you like a king. Treat her like a game and she will show you how it's played.

I miss your smile.
Your hugs.
Your muscles.
Your soul.
Your everything.

You said you werent mad at me but you were. You pretended not to be mad at me but didn't do a very good job. I'm not going on vaction the next time. I can't have a good time knowing your mad.

i have a new favorite gas can. i barely spilled any in the lake!!
#newhampshireproblems

At a party and I still run to the bathroom to escape to witty real quick

good things come to people that wait

i wanna be in the olympics just so i can get all the cool clothes they all wear;)