saphire_flames

Don't mind me, I'm just trying to figure out what i want


I want to stop caring. You aren't mine and you never will be. I'm not your type, you're too good for me. I've never liked a guy like this before. Its strange. I'm falling to hard. to fast. This needs to stop. My mood shouldn't be based on how you treat me. Yeah we spent some time together and you blew me away with how you could sing and play piano. You can play seven instruments and speak two languages. I cant find any flaws in you. Everything that annoys me about other people i like about you. You make me laugh and can always make me smile. But i know you don't like me. why would you? you have so many other girls who would love to date you. who are so much better for you than i am. it would never happen. and these days its like things have changed. you don't like talking to me anymore. maybe I'm just not worth anyones time. i need to stop this. stop thinking about you. i need to focus on my grades. on my music. but you're driving me insane. stop this. i just want to feel special for once. but that's never going to happen. I'm not pretty, I'm not special. I'm worthless. i cant go back to thinking about myself this way. not after what almost happened a few years ago. but you're weakening me. i care what you think. i want to impress you. my self esteem is dropping fast. why cant things go back to the way they were? when i was happy and didn't care what anyone thought. why cant i be happy? why do i do this to myself? i don't know any other way to think... its always been like this. why do i feel so different from everyone else? i just want to be happy. to mean something to someone. i want my parents to finally be proud of me. i want to live up to my own expectations. i don't want to feel like this anymore. i don't want to be so miserable and confused...

Format by Sandrasaurus

I broke up with him because 
he didnt treat me right
and he had the nerve to tell me
that i was

watching a beautiful
sunset...
and wishing you
had someone 
to share it with
<3
nmf.

i just want a guy friend
who i can actually have a real conversation with ♥



format credit to: true