Long but worth
reading....Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this. You come home
from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day.
You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room,
close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve
written and rewritten over and over and over You take out those
razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that
bottle of pills a nd take them all. Laying down, holding the
letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last
time. A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your
door to come tell you dinners ready. You don’t answer, so
he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he
thinks you’re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom
goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd.
She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she
tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your name. Your
brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mommy is
crying and sissy won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to
your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to
her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him,
what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws
something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he
starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there,
holding each other, crying. The next day at school,
there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone
about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in,
and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames
themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you.
Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things
they’ve said to you. That boy that used to tease you and
call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never
telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex boyfriend,
the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you..
He can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and
runs out of the school. Your friends? They’re sobbing
too, wondering how they could never see that anything was
wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too
late. And your best friend? She’s in shock. She
can’t believe it. She knew what you were going through,
but she never thought it would get that bad… Bad enough
for you to end it. She can’t cry, she can’t feel
anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just
sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming
out. It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole
town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile
and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them,
the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good
memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s
crying, your little brother still doesn’t know you killed
yourself, he’s too young. Your parents just said you
died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister, you were
supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she
stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they
start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it.
She cries and cries and doesn’t stop for days. It’s
two years later. The whole school talks to a
counselor/therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all
quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now.
That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex boyfriend
doesn’t know how to love anymore and just sleeps around
with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your best
friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn’t succeed
like you did, but she tried…your brother? He finally
found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries
at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to
your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad
became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your
mom got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day.
People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices
don’t just effect you. They effect everyone. Don’t
end your life, you have so much to live for. Things can’t
get better if you give up. I’m here for absolutely anyone
that needs to talk, no matter who you are. Even if we’ve
NEVER talked before, I’m here for you.
♥
NMQ