scrappy

Status: holding on..
Joined: February 11, 2010
Last Seen: 1 week
user id: 101057
Alyssa. 05/11/2013 <3
If I've every truly cared about you,
I'll think about you for the rest of my life.

Quotes by scrappy

I thought I had worth, but according to literally everyone else... I don’t. All of my boyfriends’ parents hated me and made or wanted them to break up with me. My school teachers expected nothing or the worst from me. My co-workers complain about me in general and me isolating myself, but when I try to connect they push me away. It seems like no matter what I do, I am never enough. What is wrong with me? I would give the shirt off my back for someone. I would be there for them no matter what. I would support them, even if their opinions and decisions didn’t match mine. I would fight for them, and stick up for them. I would genuinely care about their thoughts and feelings. I would do damn near anything for them; for a good friend. But I’d never get any of that back. I never have. Like everyone has apparently been trying to tell me my entire life, I just have no worth. I am disposable. I am a burden and weirdo. Why am I here ? Why was I given life when I have no one who cares enough to share it with ? What’s the point ?
It all just feels like it was a game.
You only wanted me more because
they wanted you to leave me.
Are your feelings even real?

I don't know why, but I get stuck in this loop of reading our old quotes. I guess I just like to reminisce about life back then.

I read some of the quotes and all I can do is just cry. I cry at the sad ones, and I cry at the happy ones. I wonder what

life would be like if we both tried to make it work at the same time. It seems timing was a major issue for us. But now there

is no us and that's okay. I am happy where I am now in my relationship. I think what gets me the most is all of the wild and

unfiltered emotions that we shared. Now we're strangers. We both know you hurt me, and we both know that I hurt you.

Knowing that, I am so unimaginably sorry for everything. Just know, that I was unaware of the pain that I put you through

while it was happening. At the time, I may not have cared because it was the same way you hurt me. How you pretty much

left me behind. Although, that doesn't make it any better or right. I will never not be sorry for how things went on both ends.

No matter how much I look back or replay memories, the sorrow and the guilt never gets any easier. I wish it did.

Maybe that's why I keep writing about it?
 

 
I wish we didn't reduce ourselves to being strangers again.





sick of crying,
tired of trying.

yeah i'm smiling,
but inside I'm dying. ♥

 






Hey you,
little did you know
 that I was the one that wanted to vent
~Sincerely,
Someone with no one to talk to.
 




Hello There;

I've missed you.



 

i hate my birthday. its always the day i feel like the biggest burden.
why is it so hard for me to cut anymore ?
everytime i try, i cant ever bring myself to do it.
i hold the blade against my skin but it doesnt move.
i used to get such a rush out of it.
it used to take the pain away.
i dont know what changed or why.
but i cant, and i wish i could.