scrappy

Status: broken..
Joined: February 11, 2010
Last Seen: 5 months
user id: 101057
Alyssa. 05/11/2013 <3
If I've every truly cared about you,
I'll think about you for the rest of my life.

scrappy's Favorite Quotes

if you knew what i was going through
would you even be proud?
have you ever been proud?
will anything ever be enough to make you proud?

sometimes i like gold stickers too.
sometimes i need a pat on the back too.
sometimes i want to cause trouble just for attention too.

the quiet child who always did well by herself...
even she needs encouragement sometimes.
she's your child too.
starting a new job, then having a meeting for a new uni placement,
then an appointment with a therapist for the first time.
all scary but i am showing up for myself.
i am proud of myself for getting this far.
i am proud of myself for putting myself in this situation.
i like taking care of myself this way.

My heart is left out in the cold too often, I've been abandoned too many times. I'm going to lock away my love, before it drives me to the barrel of a gun.

i just wanted to crawl into a tiny hole
pull the covers over my head and rest my eyes for a while.
to give my racing mind permission to crash into a cozy dream.
a dream where all of this would stop being too much for me.

a breeze became a stong blow and the strong blow became a hurricane.
rain drops that showered down intermittently now greet me as downpour.
learned habits and mirrorred expressions became a wall between me and everyone i loved.

i just wanted to put this all down for a while.
not put it in someone else's hands or rest it on someone else's shoulders.
just put it on the ground, let it gather dust and revisit it when i'm stronger.


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And it sucks;

The only person I trust to vent to
doesn't want to hear it.

 

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t  e  .



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My eyes stung with tears yet to cry.
My heart sunk, to what felt like the bottom of the ocean.
Why did I feel like this was already the end?
I shouldn't have let the words escape my lips.
This was my fault yet again.

 





Once again, I find myself at the end of a blade.
 





You ever read something that makes you feel like your heart just got ripped out of your chest, but have to play it off like you're completely fine and happy? 
 





You lied just like everyone else, and now I'm left trying to figure out if I bother fixing it and picking up the pieces like I always do.

I'm never enough, and I'm always second best. Just once, I'd like someone to fight for me and do what's best for me, but I guess that's too much, hey?