With or Without you.
I was laying in bed, in an empty
house. Annie has to sleep in the hospital, and Mason was at home.
I got up, and paced the floor near the door to my room. I locked
it, closed the blinds and blasted "Mine" by Taylor
Swift.
What if Annie dies, and I'm left here in this house,
alone?
Will I always be alone?
What if Mason moves in here with me?
What if he doesn't?
What if I'm here alone, and my dad finds me?
Is her mortgage over?
Oh, yeah it is.
Why me?
What will I do without Annie?
What will I do without comfort?
Will I be scared to sleep alone at night?
How did life get this messed up?
My thoughts were interrupted by a slight knock on the bedroom
door. I opened it and Mason was leaning in the doorway. I
recklessly threw both arms around him and hugged him tightly. He
hugged me back, picked me up (honeymoon style :D), and sat down
on my bed. I cried into his shoulder, and sniffed a little. He
ran his fingers through my hair, and kissed my forehead.
"So... I was talking to my mom, and she agreed
that I could maybe move in here with you if Annie... you know...
passes on." he looked at me for an answer.
"I would seriously love that, Mason..." I
looked up and pressed my lips against his. We pulled away,
breathless, and he started talking again.
"I know how it feels to lose someone who you
looked up to. My dad was my best friend. We played baseball
together, we watched baseball together, we would pick on my mom,
and we always found a way to have fun. When he died in that
accident, I was at school. My mom got me early, and I was so
excited to leave school. We got in the car and my mom hid her
tears, so I wouldn't find out until I got home. John was
sitting on the couch, holding a pillow tightly in his grip. He
never got along with my dad. I asked him why he looked so mad and
he just stared at me... I remember him whispering...
'Dad's dead.' I ran upstairs, slammed the door and
stayed there for a week. I ate occasionally, but I didn't
want to live. I cut myself and even attempted suicide. Please,
don't do any of this. I had no one, and you have me. We can
get through this... together." he squeezed my hands, and let
a tear slide down his face. He didn't wipe it, he just let it
go.
"Mason... I'm so sorry." I hugged him,
and heard his quiet sobs against my shoulder. I knew it would
hurt when Annie died... but I didn't know how to handle it.
Seeing Mason cry, makes me wonder... Will I make it without
her?
"Don't be sorry." he wiped his face and
smiled a little. "I have you now." he kissed me lightly
and smiled against my lips.
We fell asleep on my bed, with the tv on. When I woke up to my
alarm, it was 6 am. I jumped up and went right into the bathroom.
Since I showered yesterday, I straightened my hair, and let my
bangs fall in front of my face, pushed to the left. I put on a
tiny bit of eyeliner, mascara and no eye shadow. After, I put on
a big black sweatshirt with a red heart on the front; jeans; and
my brown boot slippers. I was ready extremely early, and I waited
on the couch in the living room. When Mason came out with wet
hair, a purple shirt, black zip up sweatshirt and grey
not-so-skinny jeans on, I got up and smiled. He took my hand, and
we left, locking the door behind us, and taking a spare key. The
walk to school was quiet, and with no sigh of my dad.
All of the periods before lunch went by fast, and I was really
hungry. I met up with Mason in the hallways, and we walked to
lunch with George. I barely talked all day, and George asked what
was wrong. I shrugged, and got on line for lunch. I bought a
buttered bagel, an iced tea, and a cookie. I ate lunch at the
table with a whole bunch of kids, George and Mason. When the bell
rang, I left and the rest of the day ended fast. I haven't
said a word. It will remain this way.
"Come on, talk to me." Mason pushed me
lightly.
I shook my head.
"Annie called." he pointed to my cell phone
that he held for me today.