20 minutes ago I
stopped myself from walking off a platform in front of an
incoming train and 15 minutes ago I started texting my
friends and 14 minutes ago I gave up on asking for their help
amd 14 minutes ago I started crying alone in a train station
and 8 minutes ago I started walking home and 20 minutes ago I
didn't die but 6 minutes ago I realised I still wanted
to.
I have a habit of falling in love with souls who have yet to be
at peace with their bodies, their minds, their weaknesses. I
try to build them, to find the parts of them that are missing
in me. I end up with holes in my chest.
Sometimes when I look at you, I feel I’m gazing at a
distant star. It’s dazzling, but the light is from tens
of thousands of years ago. Maybe the star doesn’t even
exist any more. Yet sometimes that light seems more real to me
than anything.