shefelt_it_everyday

Do I have to stop trying?

I can't force it, but that doesn't mean I have to let it go.

 My biggest weakness is also my biggest strength: I feel so strongly.

And so the story goes like this:

^{Last summer my sister tried to set us up. Three months of hanging out; I would say we were friends Maybe I didn't know a lot about you and we never planned our own get together's, but we were friends, right? I fell for you fast. Then when my sister left for school, I tried talking to you over the phone. you talked back, but you were distant. When school started back, what happened? I really want to know. It isn't really anyone's fault, but you never acknowledged me. My freshman year is over, and I wasted it on you. I still miss you. No we never dated. I should be over you. I mean, hell, it was only three months. When I feel this strongly for you, can you not even care? What are you thinking. I need to know. I have not spoken to you since that last time I tried texting you during the school year. You won't go away, and no matter how much I try to hate you, I cannot. I know life is not a fairytale and we live in a cruel reality. All I am looking for is your answer. The next time I see you, i want to talk to you. I want to have a somewhat serious conversation with you. But you are a fifteen year old boy. Is that even possible? I have imagined all these situations that could happen when I talk to you. All of them are okay outcome-wise. In my heart I know that each situation is as unlikely as the next. Really what probably will happen is you saying I don't know and leaving it at that. But I have to try to know, to understand. Now that the idea of talking to you has come in my head, it isn't leaving until I follow through with it I don't think. And I don't know it might be good for me. It hasn't been quite a year, but I cannot get over you. What is my problem? What should I do?}

i know now you weren't ready
for someone else in your life 

you were too caught up with yourself
too caught up to worry about a girl as broken as me

 as my sun tan of 2009 fades away
i keep wishing for those brighter days
but now i know they won't come
so summer 2010 it's time for me to heal

I 've got to stop looking at your facebook profile,
Ive got to stop dreaming about you
wishing you were by my side
i can't keep on stalking you
because you don't even care 
nothing's ever gonna change

you have no feelings for me
i'm not sure you ever did
how can I cry all the time
just to have you walk away not caring?

 I keep wishing for summer 2009 but summer 2010 is on its way.

What happened to ^_chivalry?
It's ^_dead.
What happened to _{happily ever afte}r?
It never _was.
What happened to ^_forever?
It ^_ended.

Love _^doesn't hurt.  It's _falling when he doesn't catch you that ^hurts.
But you've got to ^{get back up} again. Otherwise, how will you _heal?
Bend but _{^{don't break.}}  It may not work out how you want it to, but it will
work out for the best.  I _^promise you that.