sicilian_dreamer

Status: Not every pain comes to harm you*
Joined: March 3, 2014
Last Seen: 6 years
user id: 379515
 layout. 

lina

Quotes by sicilian_dreamer

The Other One 9
 
The weekend came faster then expected but I was packed and ready, I ignored the texts and calls from Mike asking where I am, if I’m mad, and if I’m okay. I’m good, and even better without him! Sam texted me she was outside, I threw on my sandals, grabbed my bags, kissed my parents and siblings goodbye and locked the door behind me!
“Are we going to Coachella my fine, fashioned friend?” Sam laughed
“I believe you copied my 70’s look.” I poked her in the back
Andrew took my bag and put it in the trunk, finally we were off to the shore! Ugh, if this was an iPhone and I had emojis I’d be putting pages of heart eyes because that’s how I felt: happy and in love. In love with the wind in my hair, the sun in my eyes, and the anticipation of the hot sand under my feet while I listened for the waves crashing against the wet sand and beautiful seashells along the shore. I had been missing out on freedom and serenity for 3 years and this felt so amazing. We got to the hotel a half hour early so to kill time we went to the beach. There was a spot that didn’t have many people so the three of us traveled over there with laughter and smiles. Sam, Andrew, and I went down to the water and ran away from the tide when it came in and whoever got hit lost that game. Andrew snapped shots of us running around, laughing, playing in the sand, in the lifeguard seat, me with a lifeguard (lol), and tackling each other. All I could think about was the way the air smelt, my laugh, and that feeling you get when someone picks you up and spins you around like you’re light as a feather. I was a feather in that moment.


http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=121971782

 The Other One 8
 
When we hit our turning point, do we know it? Do we look in the mirror and something is different? Do we even feel anything like a weight lifted from our shoulders? Or are we just numb? Maybe it’s right in front of our face and we miss it all, we’re too busy worring about the people around us to realize what ditch we’ve dug ourselves into. We worry about relationships, school, drama, who hates us, who we hate, who we love, and who is worth anything. When do we sit and think about the only real thing that matters – ourselves? I guess one day I’ll know what that’s like but for now I’m just hoping that day comes soon. I sat in bed and cried. I cried because I was sad because of what I’d done, mad at myself for letting things get this far, hurt because this was the end, and confused because I didn’t know what to do. I called my friend Sam and asked if we can do a vacation soon, we spoke to Andrew who said his college friends wanted to go to the shore this weekend for a few nights and we were welcome to join. I immediately picked up Sam and ran to the mall to buy some new fun things for this trip. This little vacation was going to be relaxing and help me become the girl I once was: fun, free, careless. I walked out with not jut new clothes but a new attitude, and a new me.


http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=121946736

The Other One 7
 
After thanking Sam and the boys for bringing me ice cream Mike called. I had asked what he wanted but he just wouldn’t say anything but
“Please just come over right now.” So I stupidly went and ended up in bed with the man I hated.
“I hate you” I mumbled as he handed me a cigarette and I lit it
“Thank you.” he said
“Anytime?”
“No, for what you did today. You could’ve ratted me out and you didn’t.”
“Unpredictable.” I exhaled into the air
“I saw so scared I-“
“I know. I saw you, you don’t have to tell me.” We sat there in silence for a minute, then I finally got up, put the cigarette in the ashtray
“I cant do this anymore.” I said
“Do what?” He asked confused
This. I’m leaving.” I said as I started putting back on my clothes
“Please don’t.” he begged
“Then tell me she’s gone, tell me you love me and mean it, tell me that I’m not just your side chick and that you want to be with me forever...which by the way, thanks for the booty call. Much appreciated, jerk.”
“This wasn’t a booty call, stop freaking out.” He put the ashtray on the dresser
“Why? You’re not gonna do anything, just like you don’t do anything with that moron you call a girlfriend!” Anger just raced through my body.
“Stop bringing her up!” he yelled
“Should I just make believe she doesn’t exist? Should I live in a damn fantasy world where there are unicorns and rainbows and everyone gets along? Like I’m some type of certifiable crazy person?!” I yelled back,
“GOD DAMN IT, CECILIA!” he slammed his fist on the dresser so hard everything shook and I’m surprised it didn’t break
“I don’t need this. I do not need this.” I grabbed my stuff and walked out the door, mike chased after me
“Wait! I’M SORRY BABE! Come back in here.” He stood in his doorway in the rain.
“Go to hell! I hope you get struck by lightening you idiot!” I got in my car and went straight home, took out the ice cream and finished it while watching netfix. I ignored my phone and just let everyone calm down.

The Other One 6
 
“He has a girlfriend? WHAT A JERK!” He made sure everyone heard, “WHO would do that to a beautiful, sweet, loving, caring, all around amazing girl like you? Please, do tell me!”  I knew I had a chance to ruin his relationship, maybe even ours in the process. I had something Mike didn’t right now, power. Although he was smiling, legs were shaking so much you could tell from across the room. I saw Ryan and Andrew were on the edge of their seats waiting to see if I rat Mike out or not. I took a glance over at their table then took a deep breath
“I’d love to say but I can’t do that to him right now. We’re dealing with the issue privately and hopefully he’ll make the right decision and soon because he’s wasting someones time. I’m just praying that it isn’t mine.” I looked down at my hands in my lap and excused myself to the bathroom and sat there alone for a minute, being alone felt amazing. When I sat back at the table everyone got quiet and looked at me.
“I feel nauseous, do you think I can skip out on ice cream and go home?” Ryan looked sad
“Yeah, no problem Cec.” Andrew smiled weakly
“Thank you.” I mouthed to Ryan and gave him a small smile. When I got home I went straight into my room, put on sweatpants and a t-shirt, and laid in bed. I wound up falling asleep in the middle of Breakfast At Tiffany’s with Audrey Hepburn, when I woke up I found a note and my TV was paused at the part where Audrey Hepburn’s cat, Cat (That’s his name not a typo), had ran away. It was raining in the movie, just like it was out my window, and the sad look in Audrey’s eyes in this scene was how I felt. I picked up the note
 
       Ice cream in the fridge
              Love you so much- Sam, Andrew, and Ry

The Other One 5
 
We agreed on lunch on the new restaurant in town. Everything was going great until I saw Mike and Alessia walk in, Mike looked directly at me and quickly away from me like I was a stranger
“Crap!” I whispered and shuffled around for a second, it wasn’t long until everyone realized what was going on because they sat right next to us, literally NEXT table over. Ryan had looked at me then at same, then back at me, smiled and started to talk louder then before
“So, how’s the guy you’re dating Lala? Treating you well?” Sam choked on her water and Andrew hid his laugh behind a napkin.
“He’s OKAY. But he could be so much better...I don’t think I’m going to date him much longer because he’s just not satisfying, if you know what I mean.” Sam excused herself and Andrew sat there looking very interested in what Ryan’s about to day
“I don’t know what you mean, please...Share!” in the corner of my eye I saw Mikes facial expression drop behind the menu and he peered over at us
“He just doesn’t do it right, he doesn’t get me there you understand?” I kept my cool and didn’t laugh because I knew they were listening
“Oh I see now, he’s lacking down under?” he leaned in and winked
“Yeah, he is. It’s a shame!” I shook my head
“Anything else wrong with him?” Ryan smiled
“Yeah.” I smirked back at him because I knew he was setting me up
“What is it?”
“He has a girlfriend.”

The Other One 4

I woke up the next morning to Sam shaking me
“Andrew is picking me up in 15! Help!” I turned onto my side and looked up at her
“Go in my closet, and wear whatever you want...toothbrush is already in ht bathroom,” I yawned, “and straightener is in the second draw to our right.”
“You’re a saint!” She kissed me on the forehead and ran off, I closed my eyes again
“Are you sleeping?” Sam called when she walked into the bathroom
“Nope.”
“What are you doing today Cec?” I heard the water turn on
“Looking for a good bridge to jump off of, got any suggestions?” I cracked my eye open to see Sam with a toothbrush hanging out of her mouth and foamy toothpaste all over her mouth
“Ew. You look like you have rabies.” I giggled and sat up, I told Sam what happened last night and that Mike had creeped over after his girlfriend had fallen asleep
“EW. Tell him to relax!” She rolled her eyes
“Why don’t you come with us today?” She smiled
“Third wheel? Really?”
“I’ll tell Ryan to come.. that’ll buy time for you to get ready.” I got up and started getting ready, Ryan had agreed to come hang out with me which I was very grateful for! I threw on a flowy Floral shirt and a pair of jeans and fixed the curls I did the night before and by the time I put on my mascara the boys were here. 


http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=121804970

The Other One 3

“What are you doing?” I asked, aggravated that he just showed up
“She's sleeping, it's safe, come out.” He held his hand towards the door, I starred at him for a minute
“I'm tired and Sam’s sleeping in my bed.”
“Your bed is so big a small village can fit comfortably, she won't notice.”
“I hate you.” I muttered as I unlocked the door
“You love me Cecilia, I know you do.” he said as I hung up the phone
“What to you want?”
“Smile princess, I came to see you.” he swooped me up and sat down on the patio chair, placing me on his lap.
“Tell me what's wrong…I don't want to hear it's Alessia being back in town.”
“Are you serious?”  I said with disgust, “Who do you think you are? Do I look stupid? You think you can run around here with two girlfriends, one being a secret, and that one happens to be me? NO! Excuse me that after 3 years I'm sick and tired of your bullshit, Michael!” fear flashed in his eyes, then his calm and cool act came out to play
“Babe, don't worry about this. I got it. You're my girl and I'll handle this.” he stood up to hug me and I took a step back
“So then handle it. Prove to me what you just said meant something.”  I walked inside and shut the door in his face. I finally laid in bed and got comfortable when my phone buzzed
your so hot when your mad
it's YOU’RE*..Night 

The Other One 2
 
Love. A four letter word that could crush someone. I sat by my window thinking about how much longer I could bear these feelings of limits and restrictions that faced me every day. I heard my phone buzz and  jumped to grab it. It was Sam texting to see what I was doing. She is the only one who knows everything about my life, she suggested the dinner and I sadly accepted. We sat at our booth and I tugged at my jeans complaining that they were too tight when Sam gave me a look
“What?” I asked with half a fry in my mouth
“You know what, don't play that.” she raised an eyebrow
“What do you want me to do? When she's not here everything is fine, it's when she comes around everything isn't.” I put my head in my hands and looked up at Sam who was starring at me.
“I know, it's wrong. On both sides. This evolved into something I didn't think would happen.” Sam looked at me sadly
“How did we let this happen. I love you but you need to grow up and stop relying on a man who is still an immature baby at heart. He's not leaving her.. how many times has he said this in the past 3 years?” she shoved a piece of grilled cheese my way
“Too many. You're right…I need to stop it and grow up. No more losers.” I took a bite and caught the waiter looking at us
“What?!” I asked, his face turned red and he looked away quickly
“Oh my god! Hurry up, lets get out of here you loon!”
We went back to my house to watch reruns of Vikings, we passed out somewhere in the middle of season 2 but I woke up to a buzzing noise, it was Michael blowing up my phone.
“Go away” I answered the phone
“That's how you answer the phone?” he asked
“What?” I said sleepily
“Come outside.” I heard a knock on my door that leads to my backyard

The Other One

There I sat, lonely and alone for the first time in a long time looking out the rainy window hoping he would pull up at any second. I sat and waited but I knew where he was, She was back in town and that meant I'd be on my own for a few days; even though I wished every time he left he would come back different, more free, but every time was the same, nothing changed. It was the three of us and even when she wasn't physically here, she was still very much present between us.


He was only 18 when I met him and I was barely 16 at the time but with one look I couldn't keep my mind off of him, he was friends with my cousin but that was the least of my problems. I was in a torturous relationship and I just wanted someone to make me smile and pay me some type of attention. He captured me with his emerald green eyes and luscious brown hair, his smile was bright and filled of the happiness I once had but was stripped of. I envied him in that spilt second he smiled at me with his soft lips and he spoke so sure of everything with this foreign accent, he was a city boy and definitely not from this town. One day he kissed me and I felt a rush through my body, a wave of adrenaline and a spark of happiness came over me. I broke up with my then boyfriend in hopes he would do the same with his girlfriend but 3 years later I'm still in the same situation, with the same people, hiding the same feelings since junior year of high school. I've done everything I could to get my mind off of him, numerous boyfriends, hookups, partied until I threw up, he knew I was rebelling against him and his decisions but somehow he was there at every breakup, he heard about me ending every hookup, and sometimes he even held my hair while I violently threw up the liquor I drank to try to help me forget about him for just a minute. I love him and it scares me because he loves someone else.



** Should I keep going? **