sixteenandinvincible

September 15,2009 (continued, end of entry)
"I think that you're afraid." I literally laughed out loud at that. Then he slid closer and continued, "No, hear me out. I think you're scared of getting close. Because you're afraid of people leaving." 

"You're wrong." I said a little too quickly

"I'm not finished." He said, his face just inches from mine, "You're afraid people will leave you. You've only kept one person close, and that’s Jake and you even push him away. You have these walls up and whenever someone tries to break them down, you try everything to make them go away. You're afraid of people knowing the real you so you let them believe the rumors and hate you because it's easier that way. You've made yourself hate everyone because you think they hate you. You're insecure and this whole act is just to cover it up. And you're being so quiet right now because you're terrified because someone has finally figured you out. Am i right?" He said confidently. I can feel his breath on my face, and I'm staring into his eyes. I'm furious and upset and anxious and terrified. I don't know what to say. For once, I'm speechless. 

"You're getting dangerously close to my face there, Tony" I say, as confidently as I can.

"There goes the pushing away thing." he says getting so close that if i puckered my lips then they would touch his, "But it's all an act. If you're so uncomfortable, then back up. Move your face away from mine. I dare you." I thought about the consequences that would come with me moving and not moving for a second. "You have two seconds to move your face back."

"Or what?" I say; I have to keep up with the confidence and that attitude.

"Or this." He whispers. And then, he kissed me. One of the full on, hardcore, intense, passionate kisses. When i started to kiss back, he turned his body and wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me closer to him as i wrapped my arms around his neck, taking him in. We made out for about 10 minutes before his mom called his cell phone telling him that she was waiting outside for him. I walked him to the door and he kissed me again, just as passionately as before, but for a shorter time period, then slipped out the door and walked into the darkness of my front lawn.

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September 15,2009 (continued)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We watched Halloween. Yes, it's early in the year to be watching Halloween, but Jake wanted to watch a scary movie and Halloween was all I had so we were stuck watching that. When it ended, Jake and Anthony were waiting for their rides home and of course with my luck, jake got picked up first. When he left my house he either winked at me or Anthony when he said goodbye. That made me really suspicious. 

While Anthony was waiting for his ride, we went back up to my room and sat on my bed watching the credits of the movie roll.

"Sorry, my mom's gonna be here soon, like 15 minutes. she's kind of slow." He said smoothly. Like he rehearsed it a hundred times. But that's just the kind of guy Anthony is. Everything he says sounds like it's been rehearsed a hundred times. But it wasn't. He's just a naturally good talker

" Oh. um, yeah that's okay." I said awkwardly. I haven't had a straight non-relative boy in my room in a year. It was weird.

"So tell me, Catherine, do you like the game 20 questions?" He asked

"Nope. It's lame." I am not playing that game with him.

"Too bad," he said with a wicked smirk on his face, "We're playing anyway. I'll ask the questions first. Unless you're too scared to answer." This was a challenge. I can't back down.

"Try me." I said, raising an eyebrow.

"One. Are the rumors true?" He asked. Bad move. I have to remind myself that he doesn't know anyone here well enough yet, and he doesn't have to know anything.

"NO." i said stiffly.

"There's more to you than that, I can tell." He says. His mind is somewhere else.

"Yep."

"So, are you going to tell me the truth in the rumors or do i have to just believe what people are saying?" He says, slyly, trying to get me to talk. But this is making me uncomfortable. But I can't show weakness.

"Nope. Don't believe the rumors. You don't even know me, are you crazy?"

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September 6,2009 (continued)
When my mom got home early, Me and my brothers were just watching TV together. I was in a good mood so i decided not to spend the night in my room. It was only around 8pm and she shouldn't have been home til midnight tonight, so we were all confused. Something had to be wrong. She had that look in her eyes.
"What happened, why are you here so early? What's wrong?" Adam asked nervously. He was always the one who had to ask mom the questions, Keith, Chris and I all get too nervous doing that kind of stuff.
"Just your dad and his new wife. Do you believe they have the nerve to invite me to their kid's baptism?" She said, her voice cracking.
It's only been about 6 months since Dad left; and in those 6 months, he got a marriage certificate with another woman and a blood test proving that he was the father of her baby. Scum. We all migrated to the kitchen table to talk mom out of her breakdown.
When we calmed her down, Chris mustered up the guts to say "Listen mom, dad is scum. He's not a part of this family. He never deserved us. Why did you leave work early? Was it because of him?"
"No no, honey." Mom said laughing. Why is she laughing now?
"Well why then?!" I asked. I don't like her mood swings. I never understand them.
"Well actually, I'm not home for a bad reason. Your father isn't the reason I'm home. The manager decided that i deserved less hours on saturday that way i can see my kids more. I never see Chris and Jackie, Keith and Krystal, Adam and his band mates, or you anymore, Catherine. I love all of you guys and your friends and it's not healthy for me to never see the people i love, so i talked to my boss and I have less hours on Saturdays. Then, in 3 or 4 months, i should start getting Saturdays off." She said excitedly. She was like a kid on Christmas right now. I haven't seen her this happy since before Dad left. So we ate dinner together like a happy family and watched DVDs of Ren and Stimpy for the rest of the night, laughing and quoting the tv show and just having an all around good time.

Day 6: September 10, 2009:

Jake ended up sleeping over last night but left before I woke up this morning because he had to go to church. Last night, Jake told me that he gave Anthony my number and Anthony still hasn't texted me yet. I really don't care. He's not my type and I don't want a boyfriend right now.

After church, Jake called me and apologized for leaving before i woke up but i said it was fine. because it was.

Then, as if on queue, I get a text message from a strange number. It turned out to be Anthony. We talked for a while, actually.

Anthony: Hey Catherine. I'm Anthony. Jake gave me your number and said that we should talk because I'm new to the school and he said you're a nice girl

Me: He said I'm nice? ha. he's been my best friend for 2 years and he still thinks i'm nice, that's funny.

Anthony: you're not nice? maybe i've got the wrong girl.

-this is a flirting technique, seen it a billion times.-

Me: Eh, maybe you do. But I'm not playing games here. What makes you want to talk to me?

Anthony: Wow, you're really straight forward. Jake said you were bold. But anyway, I want to talk to you because you're the prettiest girl in our geometry class and when Jake mentioned you to me, I couldn't miss the chance to get your number.

-sweet talker, eh?-

Me: Giving compliments won't get me to sleep with you.

Anthony: Woah, let me take you out first. haha

Me: In your dreams.

Anthony: Playing hard to get? 

Me: It's not playing when I know you're not going to get me.

Anthony: But you don't even know me..

Me: nope, but i know your type. and your type is not compatible with my type.

Anthony: No excuses. If you don't want to go on a date with me then i'll just be your friend. Nothing more, nothing less.

Me: okay. if that will make your pathetic flirting stop then fine.

Anthony: Good, I'll see you in geometry tomorrow then, friend ;)

Me: Okay cool. I'm calling you Tony though. I don't like your full name.

Tony: ouch. okay.

I didn't text back after that. The kid annoys me and I barely even know him. We texted a little longer after that, mostly small talk. It was actually more of him asking me stupid questions which i would reply to sarcastically but he seemed unphased by it. 

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