So I had this best friend once, I told her
everything. I trusted her with my life, I went to her when I was
ill, when I was having theoraphy for anorexia. She begged me to be
public about it, she said that if I was open then I would feel a
lot better, that no one would judge me. She promised that she would
stay by my side, forever and that I could always trust her no
matter what happened. She encourged me until I gave in, I told some
friends about it and it spread round the school faster than
anything. No one had guessed, I had been wearning pairs and pairs
of leggins under my school trousers and vests under my tops to bulk
out my body. They hadn't realised that not only was I not
eating lunch, which they saw, but breakfast or dinner too. I
stopped wearing layers of clothes under my uniform, another thing
she had begged me to do. People saw just how skinny I was, they
started whispering about me behind my back, just loud enough so
that I could hear. They would say that I was an attention seaker,
that I was just doing this to get noticed. People started bullying
me, that was when she left me. We had a fight, she said that I
never should have told people, that they wouldn't understand, I
tried to tell her that it was her idea, she wouldn't listen.
She told me that she didn't want to get dragged down into my
problems, that she didn't want to end up getting bullied like
me. Then she left me, made new friends, joined them in bullying me.
She would tell everyone all my secrects like she said she never
would. She was the worst bully of all. She told them about my Witty
account, people went on and saw everything. They bullied me even
more. I stopped using witty but I couldn't avoid their
comments. I tried to kill myself when it got really bad. I was in
hospital and I thought she would come running back, begging for
forgiveness, saying she was so sorry and that she regretted all of
the things that she had said and done. She didn't. She
didn't even visit me once. I was having counciling for months
before I went back to school, I thought everything would have
died down by then, I told myself that the only reason she
hadn't visited was because she felt to guilty, I thought she
would make up for that when I got back. I was wrong. I had only
taken two steps inside the school building before I saw her, I
hardly recognised her, she looked like a s1()t. She wasn't the
girl I knew any more, not at all. She was with all the
Populars and she turned to one of them and said: Look who
it is, anorexic girl, the attention seeker, the b1t(h. I didn't
realise how much she had truly changed until then. I had tried to
just forget everyone and get on with my life. Then today I got a
message from her on facebook, it said "Kill
yourself."
I never thought I would come back to witty,
but I needed to tell someone.