softballchica79

That disappointing moment when he turns out to be the jerk he said he'd never be.

Me: So how was your weekend? Mine was super eventful.
Him: Oh yeah? Tell me about your weekend.
Me: Well, I went to a party, and at the party one of my friends proposed to his girlfriend, and another one of my friend's water broke, all in a span of about 20 minutes.
Him: Oh I thought you were going to tell me you went on a date :)
Me: Well, you didn't ask me out, so no, I didn't go on a date.


Sometimes my word vomit is totally embarrassing.

I think about what my sister had when she was 20 and I wonder how my parents could ever be proud of me. At my age she got married to a wonderful man, graduated from college, and had a great full time job.

I'm 20, and I'm just trying to figure out what I want to do with my life, and I can't even gather the courage to tell the guy I like that I like him.

It's crazy how when you're in high school you can be best friends with someone. I used to have a really good friend that I felt was my best friend in the whole world. We had so much in common. Everything from music to games to clothes. Everything. We used to sit up all night on the weekends and talk on Facebook about bands we liked and exchanging Youtube links. And talking about our futures. And how we'd always be best friends.

Then you graduate from high school and you don't see each other everyday anymore. But you still talk and you still get together on the weekends. You still have a lot in common like music and games. But slowly you begin to change. And you don't even realize it. You don't talk all night long and exchange Youtube links. Instead you text during the day and talk about getting an apartment together, and living together and being roommates.

You start college and all of the sudden you just have nothing in common anymore. You don't talk for months on end. Someone you used to be close with isn't someone you share your life with anymore. So when you do get together for those precious few hours every few months you feel like strangers. The silences that used to feel so natural all of the sudden become awkward and no one knows what to say.

People grow up and lives go in different directions. It's ok to say goodbye to those people that you used to love and tell everything. People change. It's ok to accept that. Because even if for just a moment they were once the most important part of your life. I can't promise anyone you'll still be friends with someone you are friends with right now, but I can tell you that you'll always have a place in your heart for them.

I love you Casey, even if we don't talk much anymore. You'll always be my best friend.

Please don't promise to be my knight in shining armor. It only hurts worse when you end up being a loser dressed in tin foil.

As much as I'd like to say my parents were horrible and difficult to get along with, I can't. When I was a teenager they encouraged me in every way imaginable. They entertained every idea I ever had. When I went to my mom and said "Mom, I want to paint my room orange," the only thing she said was "Do you want to go to Lowes now or later?" When I went to my dad and said "Dad, I really need a job so I can save money to buy a car," he went to his boss and together they created a place for me in his office. We laughed together, and cried together. We've had our ups and downs. Our differences and our similarities. When I was 17 and told them I wanted to go off to the city and go to music school and be a record executive they said "Ok, what do we have to do to get you there?"

They let me make mistakes on my own and figure things out. They stayed back and let me shine. The consoled me when things didn't work out. Most of all they carefully molded me into the adult that I am today. I will forever be grateful for that. So anyone that says you hate your parents and they just don't understand you, they do. You just don't understand them quite yet.

I'm at the point where I either just blurt it all out and tell him I like him or give up on him. There are so many positives about him, but so many negatives as well.

3 months ago, my cousin told her mother that she was a lesbian. Her mother was ashamed and told her not to tell anyone because she was afraid our family would be ashamed.

Last weekend, my cousin stood next to her little sister as she married the man she loved. At the wedding reception, she got up in front of all our family and friends and said "Mom, I know you told me to keep this a secret but I'm sick of living a lie. I don't care if people are ashamed of me and my choices. I like women. And tonight I brought my girlfriend to the wedding. I love her, and some day I'm hoping that we can stand up in front of our family and friends and say our vows." Everyone clapped and hooted and whistled. And during the first dance, her little sister said "Bring your girl out and dance with us. It'll be both our first dances of our new lives."

My family's ability to overlook differences in beliefs and accept something like this, despite our strict Catholic background has completely restored my faith in humanity.
 

Things were going great..until he totally friendzoned me.

He showed up at my house this morning. My parents let him in, and he came up to my room and said "Good morning beautiful, it's time to get up." He told me to get dressed, and then he took me out for breakfast. When I asked him why he just said "I woke up this morning and decided I wanted to start my day with you." I think he's a keeper :)