Joined: June 30, 2014
Last Seen: 6 years
Birthday: November 26
user id: 383780
Location: Honey Grove, PA
Gender: F
Randi Jo Orris
Photography, horses, poetry that nobody reads.
Pennsylvania life. 

Quotes by Stand_My_Ground*

I found a shilling. It looks like a quarter, but its from the UK. 
I just checked the currency exchange,

        I have a quarter-sized penny.
I have Manic Depression
The other day my brother told me I was "F.ucking crazy"
I just smiled
Because in my mind

              I agreed with him.

My "friend" got p.issed at me every time I would talk about how sad i was about Robin Williams' suicide.
Like seriously? Can't I be upset that the man who was my hero,
who's standup comedy kept me going when I was contemplating suicide,
killed himself?
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
Its where my demons hide
Its where my demons hide.
Break a little heart,
Watch you take a fall,
Laughing all the way to the hospital.
The Will To Live
By Randi Orris

He starts to change suddenly, but subtly.
A hair cut.
Less smiling.
Deeper conversations.
Blood-shot eyes.
They have no idea whats coming.
Days go by, times marches on.
One day he doesn't show up to school. 
He's at home, writing a note.
"Mom, I'm sorry. Its not your fault, you've done nothing wrong. I love you."
He takes a breath and continues.
"Dad, I don't want to hurt you, please take care of mom."
A tear falls.
"Baby sister, I regret the fact that you will never remember me. I bet you'll grow up to become a beautiful young woman."
A sob escapes his body.
"Jack, my closest friend, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to bother you with my feelings and thoughts, but then they overtook me. I'll miss you."
He's losing it now.
"Amanda, my love, I'm so sorry. I'll wait for you on the other side. I'll love you forever."
He runs his fingers through his hair as all his feelings flow from his eyes.
He lays back on his bed, looks at the gun.
He clutches the note to his chest, closes his eyes.
One. Last. Breath.
Barrel to his head, hands shaking.
He puts his finger on the trigger.
Suddenly, he puts the gun down.
Tears the note to shreds. 
He decided then to live. 
To not give up.

Ten years from then he holds his newborn daughter for the first time. 
Looks into his wife, Amanda's, eyes.
His father and best friend congratulate him. 
His mother is overcome wiith joy.
His sister becomes an aunt.
Life continued. 
He Lived.
By Randi Orris

Because you deserve it.
Because you'll feel better.
Not because you're worthless,
But because you need release.
Because you are worth it.
The Pain of Love
By Randi Orris

She watches him leave.
To be happy without her.
She wants to cry, to tell him her feelings.
But she doesn't.
She lets him continue to be happy.
Without her.
Because that's what love is.