stealmyfoodandIwillstealyourface

“It’s been trained to expect pain when it hears the noise.”

This quote from the

 Gringotts dragon scene

 from Harry Potter and

The Deathly Hallows reminds me

of my alarm clock and I in the

morning.

me: *walks into math classroom*

me: I’m confused

I love when I can be really open with people like halfway through the conversation I’m just like “hey I need a sh/t.”

I need to vent

Whether you read or not is up to you. I’m not trying to achieve attention or whatnot, I’ve never done this before and this is a big thing for me.

I can’t trust anyone right now. It’s not like I don’t have friends, I do, a lot. And best friends. But I just can’t trust them. I hate them sometimes. Actually, no, I don’t.  It’s not their fault; it’s just my stupid mind. I overthink everything. You know when someone makes a tiny little comment which most people forget within the space of 10 seconds? Yeah, I’m the person who remembers that comment as I obsess over it for the next 6 months as I cry about everyone hating me. People always think that to be mentally scarred you have to have something horrific happen to you. But it’s not always that. The horrific thing that happened to me was myself. Everything is interpreted in a different way by different people.

But I guess I’ve learnt one good thing from this. I treat people differently now, I’d like to think of myself as a different person.

But this sort of ruins me more. When people do normal things and make normal comments it hurts me even more ‘cause I think ‘What have I ever done to them?’

I’m making this sound like the people around me are horrible, they’re really not. They just don’t understand. I tried to explain to one of them, I thought they understood but they did what I told them hurts me the very next day.

For instance, I have become a very huggly person. I feel like a hug can show many emotions and help so much and idek I just love hugs. But I suppose it is pretty annoying when someone hugs you a lot, especially since that person is me. So I go to hug one of my bestfriends and she rejects me harshly and I say ‘why?’ She goes, ‘You’re really annoying and clingy.’ So I walk away.

Nobody knows or understands and it just gets to me, I’m really sensitive. This sounds so pathetic but I can’t say or post this anywhere else because I know I’ll get hated and judged, which might happen here, but I’m taking that risk.

I can’t even remember if people still post this sort of stuff on Witty, it’s probably really annoying, I’m sorry.

If you’ve read this far, thankyou, that’s all I ask of you.

Is it bad that I really hate being in relationships?

Like for a while I hadn’t been in one, then a few weeks ago this guy asked me out and I accepted. I suppose it was the first proper relationship I’d had apart from preschool kisses. I just had this feeling every day one I got ready for school that I had to impress someone. I hated it. The guy was lovely, I thought, so why can’t I be happy with him?

But I just couldn’t. I have trust issues, anxiety, and other mood disorders alike. I didn’t tell him, few people knew. He told me stuff about his past. Why couldn’t I share?

I hate hurting people. We hadn’t been going out for long and I didn’t want him to feel as though he’d been played. But I dumped him. He was pretty upset.

I don’t even know why I’m posting this, I need to tell someone.

Tbh, my childhood dream has always been to fall in love, have the cliché relationship and get married. But now I feel as though it’s got worse. I can’t trust anyone.

I’m scared that if I find “the one” I’ll just run away because I can’t get over my own f//cking problems and be happy.

Who else finds it really annoying…

whenpeoplesayimportantstufinthisfont, and ucantreadit-.-e

Translation: When people say important stuff in this font, and u can’t read it -.-