stiltongirl

Status: love live love your self and have fun doing it
Joined: October 5, 2012
Last Seen: 7 years
user id: 333279
Location: yo mama
Gender: F
im 13 a amarican directionar in love and love everybody

stiltongirl's Favorite Quotes

                    Marry Me
                                 a yes
                                 b a
                                 c b

 
Me watching Dora:
 

*Dora Theme Song plays*
Me:
D-D-D-D-D-DORA
Me: D-D-D-D-D-DORA
Me: DORA DORA DORA THE EXPLORAAA.
Me: VAMINOS!
Me: SWIPA NO SWIPING! SWIPA NO SWIPING!
Swiper: *Snaps* AW MAAAN.
Me: YOU CAN LEAD THE WA-AY. HEY! HEY!

Dora: Oh no! My friends are in trouble they can't push the boat. We have to help them!
Me: Lolno. You have to help them.
Dora: We have to say empuje!
Me: Don't tell me what I have to say.
Dora: Can you say empuje?
Me: WHY CAN'T WE JUST SAY "PULL" IN ENGLISH?
Dora: Say it! Say empuje!
Me: Don't tell me what to do you passive agressive b/tch! I don't like you!
Dora: Good!
Me: WAT.

Dora: Okay! Now, I need the map!
Me: Good to know.
Dora: Say map!
Me: Map.
Dora: Louder!
Me: F*CKING MAP YOU HEARD ME THE FIRST TIME.

Map: If there's a place you got to go!
Map: I am the one you need to know!
Map: I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!
Me: You're the what? Sorry, didn't get that.
Map: If there's a place you got to get!
Map: I can get you there I bet!
Map: I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!
Me: Oh my god.
Map: I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!
Me: OKAY.
Map: I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!
Me: YOU LOOK LIKE A SOFT TACO.
Map: I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'M THE MAP!
Me: Oh really? I thought you were a F*CKING CHAIR.
Map: Okay! Tell Dora you need to go over the bridge!
Me: Ok.
Map: Through the woods!
Me: Sounds a little dangerous for a 5 year old.
Map: AND THEN YOU GET TO GRANDMA'S HOUSE!
Me: WHY IS HER GRANDMA'S HOUSE SO DAMN DIFFICULT TO GET TO?!

Dora: Where did Map say we have to go?
Me: Over the bridge and through the woods.
Dora: Over the bridge and through the woods?
Me: B*TCH, YES.
Dora: OKAY!

*At the bridge*
Dora:
Where's the bridge?
Me: OMFG I KNOW YOU SEE THAT DAMN BRIDGE RIGHT IN BACK OF YOU.
*Magical Cursor Clicks the Bridge*
Me:
WHERE THE F*CK DID THAT COME FROM?
Dora: Let's go across the bridge!
Me: Okay...
Swiper: *Takes one of the steps on the bridge*
Me
: WAT. THA. FACK.
Swiper: *Snickers*
Dora:
OH NO! SWIPER TOOK ONE OF THE STEPS ON THE BRIDGE!
Me: ORLY? BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE GAVE YOU A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS
Dora: Quick! Say SWIPER NO SWIPING!
Me: SWIPER, GIVE THE DAMN STEP BACK. WE JUST WANT  TO CROSS THE BRIDGE. GTFO.
Swiper: *Snaps* AW MAN.
Swiper: *Puts step back*
Dora:
Now let's cross the bridge!
Me: ...............

*At the woods*
Dora: Where's the woods?
Me: ARE YOU BLIND.
*Magical Cursor Again*
Boots:
It's over there, Dora!
Me: Atleast you're smart.
Boots: But Dora, I'm scared of the dark woods.
Me: OMFG, BOOTS.
Me: STOP BEING A LITTLE B*TCH MONKEY.
Me: APE UP.
Dora: It's okay boots. My backpack has a flashlight!
Me: Ughhhhhh.
Dora: Can YOU help?
Me: HELP YOUR DAMN SELF!
Dora: Say BACKPACK!
Me: *Rolls eyes*

Backpack: Backpack, Backpack!
Backpack: Backpack, Backpack!
Me: Wtf r u a Pokemon
Backpack: I'm the Backpack!
Me: No sh*t.
Backpack: Loaded up with things and knick knacks too.
Backpack: Anything that you might need I got inside for you!
Me: I need an Advil.
Backpack: Backpack, Backpack!
Me: No.
Backpack: BACKPACK, BACKPACK! YEAH.
Me: 
Backpack:
What does Dora need?
Me: A flashlight for Boots the scared little b*tch monkey.
Backpack: Okay!
Backpack: *Lets out tape, a screwdriver, and a flashlight*
Me:
Wtf.
Backpack: Where's the flashlight?
Me: ....RIGHT THERE.
*Magical cursor clicks the screwdriver*
Me:
NO WTF THAT'S NOT A FLASHLIGHT.
Backpack: That's not a flashlight!
Me: ORLY.
*Magical cursor clicks flashlight*
Backpack:
THAT'S IT! GIVE THE FLASHLIGHT TO DORA!
Me: Oh God.
Backpack: OM NOM NOM NOM NOM DELICIOSO!
Me: Why did you eat tape and a screwdriver?
Me: That's gonna hurt when you take a mighty backpack sh*t.

Dora: Do you have the flashlight?
Me: Yes.
Dora: GREAT! NOW WE CAN GO THROUGH THE WOODS!
Boots: AND I WON'T BE SCARED.
Me: I HOPE A WILD BEAR KILLS YOU BOTH.

*Finally at Grandma's house*

Dora: !Lo hicimos! We did it!
Me: You just said the same thing twice.
Dora: YAYYY
Me: ...

Dora: What was your favorite part?
Me: ...Well.. I have to say I enjoyed the part where--
Dora: I LIKED THAT PART TOO!
Me: B*TCH I DIDN'T FINISH.

Me: F*CK THIS. I'M NEVER WATCHING DORA AGAIN.






Lol So True: #250
I do 5 sit-ups every morning. May not sound much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button.
lolsotrue.com


 


Did you know
"Acrorthosis" is a medical condition in wich a man may have too many erections too often.


 

 

Your Momma so fat, when she sat on Walmart she lowerd the prices.
knock knock.

Who's there?

To.

To who?

To whom.


Band member: Hey what can I sign for you?
Me: Just this piece of paper, please?
Band member: Of course *signs*
Me: Thanks
Band member: Wait, was that an adoption paper?
Me: NO BYE
Band member: WAIT
Me: NO!

Tumblr



 
Last Christmas,
I gave you my heart,
but the very next day,
you said you were gay
When your friend comes with you to your grandparents for thanksgiving...
friend makes everyone laugh
dead silence
me :D
My friend o.0

In fifth grade



Me:
get out of my seat.

Kid: this isn't your seat. i don't see your name written on it.

Me:  my name will be written in your blood if you don't get up in two seconds.