summergirl369

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
{I'm not who I was}
-I used to be mad at you-
\\And a little on the hurt side too//
~But I'm not who I was

I found my way around
[(To forgiving you)]
<<Some time ago>>
But I never got to tell you so

- Brandon Heath, "I'm Not Who I Was"

SCREW THIS.
I'm NOT thinking about him anymore.
Nope. Nuh uh. Don't know who he is.
...
...
...
I give up. *facepalm*

Teens are the masters of exaggeration.

Sometimes I think that maybe
he did like me last year;
I was just too sad to notice.
How could I have let him get away?
But he had a girlfriend at the time.
And I would never have done
anything, anyway.
So now I'm stuck in a dream world
where I fantasize about him and I.

On my Facebook when Lincoln came out...
 

SMC: "Evidently 'Lincoln' is doing well in theaters despite historical evidence to the contrary." #itspunnyok

   DG: When did you get so funny?
SMC: Just now okay
   DG: What do you call a house you can't find?
SMC: What. Dean. What.
   DG: A where-house.
   MB: That was just bad.
SMC: #gohome
   DG: #alreadythere
SMC: #clever
   MB: #YOLO
SMC: Hey Mitchell, don't take the history of the civil war for Grant-ed. #ok #imdone
   MB: Why don't you give me a little Lee-way?
SMC: Because, "Lincoln" the south and north was too important!
           1 person likes this
   CV: LOLOLOL I get it
   MB: I can't be Booth-ered by your Lincoln puns.
 

true story

 

 

I have a feeling you never liked me in that way,
but I just want to say thank you 
for reaching out to a depressed, lonely, socially awkward girl last year.
Thank you for reminding me how much there still is to live for in life.
I'd say this to you in person,
but I'm still a little scared to talk to you,
so this is my thanks for the world to see.
Maybe it will inspire someone else to change another's life
as you did in mine. <3

As deluded as I might be
Through the lens of depression,
Somehow I can still see
That life is still worth living.
And yet I cannot tell
Others to believe it
Because all they can sense is hell,
So they say heaven will never come.
I always want to say
That I was there once too,
That to life I once wanted to say nay
And disappear forever,
That it really does get better
Not every time, but most of the time
And that recovery will be slower
Than expected, but always progressing.
But when will they believe me,
When they think they've seen it all?
So I shut my mouth and lose the chance to be
A change in someone's lonely life.

I always feel bad for the school staff
'cause they have to put up with all the crap
we students say about them.
And the bus drivers.
And basically staff anywhere.
So I smile at them and tell them to have a good day
and hope that it makes upa little
for the jerkwads they encountered that day.
 

By day, I believe.
By night, I doubt.
By the light, I flourish;
By the darkness, I'm put out.
By day, I'm full.
But by night, I'm empty.
By dawn, I'm pretense.
By dusk, I'm veracity.
By day, I dream.
By night, I'm deluded.
By hope, I see,
And yet by despair, I'm blinded.
 

I wish I could fly away to someplace else .
There are people who want to be perfect.
I'm one of those who would rather not.
I'm a philosophical, quiet kind of person. I think flaws are interesting.
I don't like a lot of attention.
Especially while trying to battle depression.
But the people I know act like I'm perfect.
I try to tell them otherwise, that I have my dark secrets.
They don't listen. They don't care that there is no such thing as perfect.
Even if there were, I would fall so far from it.
Besides, to be held as perfect and then to fall hard is one of my worst nightmares.
People will talk even more, and I can't handle all that.
I can barely handle conversation with people who aren't in my circle of friends.
People make me jittery. Their attention is just as bad.
So I try to tell them to stop, but I think I'm making it worse.
Now I just want to hole up in my room and hide from the world.

So-called perfection really has its downsides.