1. Make race car noises when
anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex
to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering:
"Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut
UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small
World" incessantly. 5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of
the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside
ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear
yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,
without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the
doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by
themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie
patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake
and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence! 15. On the highest floor,
hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear
the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the
bottom. 16. Do Tai Chi
exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then
announce: "I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back:
"Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your
nose.
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and
say "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks
infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually
pushing buttons. 25. Holler "Chutes away!"
whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the
side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce
"You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the
elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for
them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other
passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along. 33. When the elevator is silent,
look around and ask "is that your
beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red
buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to
the other passengers that this is your "personal
space."
41. Bring a chair along. 42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger:
"Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long
strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more
suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a
button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at the
passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting
larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad
touch!"
51. Bring a water pistol. Soak everyone's
shoes.
52. Start brushing off invisible bugs from your arms, screaming
"Aaughh! Get them off!"
53. Challenge your neighbor to a "Tic-Tac-Toe"
tournament.
54. Laugh hysterically for five seconds, stop, and glare at the
other passengers like they are crazy.
55. Charge into the elevator dripping wet, holding a towel and
wearing only a bath robe. Mutter something about how
husbands/wives always come home early just when it's getting to
the good part.
56. Make chalk drawings on the walls. 57. As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and
down, shouting "Down! I said down,
dammit!"
58. Crouch in one corner and growl menacingly at everyone who
gets on.
59. Try to get a game of "Twister"
going.
60.Wrinkle your nose and smell the
air repeatedly. Sniff at your neighbor suspiciously, give a
disgusted frown, and take a step
away.
So come on, get
higher, loosen my
lips Faith
and desire at the swing of your
hips Just pull me down
hard And drown
me in love -Matt
Nathanson - Come On Get
Higher