In case you needed further proof that
the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual
label instructions on consumer
On a Sears
hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion:
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do
not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car
or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents
if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions:
Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this
garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with
your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)