Joined: December 31, 2011
Last Seen: 7 years
user id: 257595

Quotes by theWalrus

I don't want to be a millionaire,
I just want enough money to be able to stare off into the distance while pumping gas
Graduating with a major in business
and a minor in possession of alcohol
Shoutout to my liver
for working harder than my brain
Told this guy to text me when he got home,
he must be homeless or something
Whenever you feel you're having a bad day,
Remember that kid from airbud
who who got cut from the basketball team
to make room for a golden retriever
Student carrying backpacks after 9pm:
8% going to library
92% transporting illegal substances
I bring my litmus paper to parties
to test how basic the b\tches are
Everyone around me is like
I'm so heartbroken, I thought he loved me
And I'm just here like
The radiative equilibrium for the Earth is 255K
If I hear one more friend say
"i'm so broke" then post concert pictures every month,
I swear I'm going to jump out of the duct taped hole in my window
In class today:
Teacher: Mike, can you give us a summary of the story?
Mike: ... so this guys neighbor was a little bit of an as.shole
Teacher: Come on, a little bit?
Mike:Ok he was an as.shole
Teacher: You can do better
Mike: Ok he was a complete as.shole
Mike: There's no other way to put it