Joined: December 31, 2011
Last Seen: 5 years
user id: 257595

Quotes by theWalrus

It's ok if you don't laugh at my jokes
because I'll laugh enough for the both of us
On the train after random inspections:
White girl #1: omg did you get searched?
White girl #2: Yes, I can't believe they  picked me.
#2: I almost cried.
#1: You know it's because they profile people.
#2: I know it's not even fair. That's discrimination.
Me: What.

Mom: I'm watching that Kardashian show
Mom: I have to see her baby. Cayenne is going to be there
Me: Cayenne?
Sister: Pepper!
Mom: Whatever. I need to see it.
I dont even know how to skinny dip
I only know how to chunky dunk and fatty flop
Basically the only time 
I stop being a nice person is during hockey playoffs

Finals week
Where showers dont matter
And alcohol is the best study skill
My boyfriend is kind of like my soul.

I sold them both to satan.

It doesn’t make sense to call ourselves ugly,
because we don’t really see ourselves. We don’t watch ourselves sleeping in bed,
curled up and silent with chests rising and falling with our own rhythm.
We don’t see ourselves reading a book, eyes fluttering and glowing.
You don’t see yourself looking at someone with love and care inside your heart.
There’s no mirror in your way when you’re laughing and smiling
and happiness is leaking out of you.
You would know exactly how bright and beautiful you are
if you saw yourself in the moments where you are truly yourself
I think netflix would work great as  dating site.
"Here are 9 other singles in your area who also watched pokemon for 12 hours straight"
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