Why I'll be the best parent ever:
When my teeneage child tells me that I'm the worst parent ever
I'm going to respond with, "I'm glad you think that.
Your father and I are getting a divorce and I'm giving him full
custody of you." Then they'll freak out and I'll be
like, "Nah I'm just kidding." Then they'll get
all mad and I'll just be like, "Good, now you know to
appreciate what you have. Like me." And again, my husband will
just be there like, "Oh my God."