ThatLostGirl*

I think people do not understand
How overwhelming and exhausting it is
To be deeply sad all the time
To feel like you're never good enough
To feel like no one is ever going to love you
To feel lonely and isolated
And having to live in despair

She hears the yelling,
It's been going on all night long.
While mom and dad fight,
She puts on her favorite song.

She goes to school,
Running on no sleep.
Puts on a brave face,
But inside she continues to weep.

She walks inside her house,
Notices mom is gone.
She goes to her dad and asks,
He says they've been wrong.

Mom is at grandma's,
She goes over to ask.
"What's going on?" she says,
While she puts on a fake mask.

Mom says dads been cheating,
It's been happening for a while.
The next day at school,
She puts on a fake smile.

Both parents have been indecent,
Or so they both still tell her.
She looks for comfort in her family,
But they're not the best helper.

Alone and depressed she gets,
Wasting away day by day.
Not understanding the way of the world,
She doesn't want to stay.

No one understands,
They don't even bother asking.
She cries her self to sleep at night,
Because happiness is what she's lacking.

It's been 3 years since that unfortunate fight,
Her parents still hate eachother.
These feelings never left her soul,
She's hoping there won't be another.

Each day and night the sadness stays,
She hasn't been happy in a long time.
The only thing she hopes for now,
Is a way to leave this life.

She finally let go of her fake smile,
The tears rushed down her face.
She looked around and said to herself,
"I want to leave this place."

Music helped at first, it did,
But now she's slipping deeper.
Darker and darker her days become,
She's becoming weaker.

I look in the mirror and whisper to myself,
"Why can't I just leave?"
There's nothing left for me here,
God, take me away, please.

They thought I was happy.
People see me smile everyday.
I always give my brightest smile.
But inside, I'm breaking.
I'm sad. I'm tired. I'm even mentally dead.
Every second, minute hour,
I'm waiting. Waiting for an angel to call me back home.

My parents think i'm lazy, but what they don't realize is depression drains my energy. It crushes my hopes and dreams. It takes away my motivation. It makes me want to die.

A five year old asked her big brother one day, "What is love?"

He replied, "Love is when you steal my chocolate from my school bag everyday, and I still keep it in the same place."

People do not die from suicide, they die from sadness.

I wonder if killing yourself is the only thing you can control in your entire life, and that's why it's considered a sin; because you're beating God at his own game.

Isn't sad when you get hurt so much you can finally say,
"I'm used to it."

When someone you love dies, and you're not expecting it, you don't lose them all at once; you lose them in pieces over a long time - the way the mail stops coming, and their scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in their closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of them that are gone. Just when the day comes - when there's a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that they're gone, forever - there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.

I like being alone,
Not feeling alone.