toocooltofool

Status:
Joined: October 30, 2011
Last Seen: 8 years
user id: 232793

Quotes by toocooltofool

Why is "patience" a virtue? Why can't "hurry the f**k up" be a virtue?
9 0 toocooltofool toocooltofool
funny
Still have a sore throat but I have a first date to get to. I sound like an old lady who's been smoking for 50 years, so I'm gonna be poppin throat drops half the time. Not even gonna over-compensate by wearing a low-cut top. Maybe I want this to fail...we'll see.
2 2 toocooltofool toocooltofool
funny
If you let the refrigerator door gently shut on you it feels like a hug from a polar bear.
3 0 toocooltofool toocooltofool
funny
My mom has been an operating room nurse for over 25 years and she's trained to use laser surgery equipment at work

but she still needs me to help her find the rewind button on the Directtv remote. 
1 0 toocooltofool toocooltofool
funny
I hate you, then I love you.
It's like I want to throw you off a cliff, then

                        rush to the bottom and catch you. </3
7 0 toocooltofool toocooltofool
break up
Twitter is the only place I can b*tch & complain and not care if someone unfriends me for being an annoying brat.
3 0 toocooltofool toocooltofool
vent
A sharks brain looks the same as the female reproductive system. (Google it.)

My period will now be called Shark Week.
5 0 toocooltofool toocooltofool
funny
I only trust people who like big butts.

Because they can not lie.
446 11 toocooltofool toocooltofool
funny
My fb news feed right now:

- People complaining about how hot it is outside.
- People complaining about people complaining about how hot it is outside.
- People complaining about people complaining about people complaining about how hot it is outside.

Chicago weather sucks, it's either too hot or too cold. =/
5 0 toocooltofool toocooltofool
funny
I wish I could illegally download handbags from the internet.
3 0 toocooltofool toocooltofool
funny
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