When your mother hits you,
do not strike back.
When the boys call asking your cup. size, say A, hang
up.
When he says you give him blue ba.lls, say you’re
welcome.
When a girl with thick black curls who smells
like bubble gum stops you in a stairwell to ask if you’re a
boy, explain that you keep your hair short so she won’t
have anything to grab when you head-bu.tt her. Then head-bu.tt her.
When a guidance counselor teases you for
handed-down jeans, do not turn red.
When you have s.ex for the
second time and there is no co.n.dom, do not convince
yourself that scr.e.wing between layers of underwear will
soak up the se.men.
When your geometry teacher posts a banner reading: “Learn
math or go home and learn how to be a Momma,” do
not take your first feminist stand by leaving the
classroom. When the boy you have a crush on is sent to detention,
go home.
When your mother hits you, do not strike back.
When the boy with the blue mohawk swal.lows your heart and opens his
wri.sts, hide the
knives, bleach the bathtub, pour out the vod.ka. Every time.
When the skinhead girls jump you in the bathroom stall,
swing, curse, kick, do not turn
red.
When a boy you think you love delivers the first black
eye, use a screw driver, a be.er
bottle, your two good hands.
When your father locks the door, break the
window.
When a college professor writes you
poetry and whispers about your tight little as.s, do not take it as a compliment,
do not wait, call the Dean, call his wife.
When a boy with good manners and a thirst for
Bu.dwei.ser proposes, say no.
When your mother hits you, do not strike
back.
When the boys tell you how good you smell, do not doubt them,
do not turn red.
When your brother tells you he is gay, pretend you
already know.
When the girl on the subway curses you because your tee shirt
reads: “I f.ucked your
boyfriend,” assure her that it is not
true.
When your dog pees the rug, kiss her, apologize
for being late.
When he refuses to stay the night because you lived in Jersey
City, do not move.
When he refuses to stay the night because you live in Harlem,
do not move.
When he refuses to stay the night because your air conditioner is
broken, leave him. When he refuses to keep a
toothbrush at your apartment, leave him.
When you find the toothbrush you keep at his apartment hidden in
the closet, leave him.
Do not regret this. Do not turn red.
When your mother hits
you,
do not strike back. “
— Jeanann Verlee, Unsolicited
Advice to Adolescent Girls With Crooked Teeth and Pink
Hair