tornedsoul*

Status: trying to rock my life myself only
Joined: May 16, 2015
Last Seen: 1 week
Birthday: September 15
user id: 391247
Location: New Delhi, India
Gender: M
Rain bath, travelling, foodie, adventure
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Quotes by tornedsoul*

I thought we were perfect once. That we could balance each other out, that I would give you the inspiration you crave and you would give me the peace I am so desperate for. But maybe we’re not meant for each other. You’re not my type and I’m not your type and so why are we back here again?We took a break for a year. We avoided each other, barely spoke. I avoided your places, your haunts, even your friends. I took a backstep in my own life, returned to old habits and lost my desire for others because some nights, all I could think about was you. I wanted you, even when you desperately wanted someone else. And it wasn’t just that kind of romantic love - it was the kind of love where we could talk to each other about anything, be happy in silence, be happy with nothing.And I loved you, even though each time you answered my questions I felt like my heart was breaking. I couldn’t keep the scraps of me together and instead I let them aside, and parts of me were lost too. Why do I let you have so much of me? I give you so much leeway, we both knew it. So why do you keep sabotaging this, even just the threads of our friendship?Why do you want to irrevocably destroy who I am, destroy the parts of me that make me who I am, make me feel like I am not worthy of anything? Somedays I blame you and somedays I can’t because I can’t help but feel you’re right. That I don’t deserve anything more than to be destroyed. I keep thinking and thinking. I don’t know what lies next. I want you and I don’t. I want us to be friends, to lean on each other. But sometimes I think I want more. To try this idea of dating, this question that hovers between us, that prevents us from being just friends. What is this whisper that our bodies seem to give around each other? There’s a question that lies in the air between us, a thought that we can never really put away. You have anxiety around me. I have anxiety around you.But sometimes I wonder if anxiety and desire are one and the same.That we could be it for each other. I wonder if we could last if we got through this. Or if we would just end in heartbreak, both in pieces that we can’t re-build. Why can’t we be friends with exes? Why can we not say that the part of our lives where we in love with each other is over, and that now we are just happy to be friends?This is a slow love story. And the ending is still in question. Maybe it has a happy ending. Maybe it doesn’t. I wish I knew.
Some days I can’t stomach the thought of living without you. It makes me so sick. I’m having one of those days. I keep looking at my phone hoping you’ll call me to ask me how my days going. I keep checking FB to see if maybe I’ll see something you posted. Keep going through your photos, reminiscing because sometimes it’s the closest thing to keeping you here with me. Go through memories like it was yesterday. It’s not the real thing. It don’t even come close. I wish you were here. I miss you so much. I wish I could just talk to you. Maybe you could make sense of what’s going on around me. I’m hoping you’ll greet me in the next life. I just want to see you smile again. Life ain’t ever been the same since you walked through that door. I just wish I got to say goodbye.
Some days I can’t stomach the thought of living without you. It makes me so sick. I’m having one of those days. I keep looking at my phone hoping you’ll call me to ask me how my days going. I keep checking FB to see if maybe I’ll see something you posted. Keep going through your photos, reminiscing because sometimes it’s the closest thing to keeping you here with me. Go through memories like it was yesterday. It’s not the real thing. It don’t even come close. I wish you were here. I miss you so much. I wish I could just talk to you. Maybe you could make sense of what’s going on around me. I’m hoping you’ll greet me in the next life. I just want to see you smile again. Life ain’t ever been the same since you walked through that door. I just wish I got to say goodbye.
Dear Megha,I cannot stop thinking about the good times we used to have together. For so long, simply being in your company brought a smile to my face. Since we’ve broken up, I have spent far too much of my time consumed by memories of us. I am continuously recounting all of the wonderful memories we’ve shared, and as the days pass by, I have realized more and more that I can’t see a future for myself without you.I am so disappointed that we grew apart and ultimately aren’t together anymore. My heart cannot bear the thought of not being with you, and I deeply wish to give us another chance. I’d like to talk to you again, when you have the time. Please reach out to me.SincerelyVishal
I could honestly bet that if you ask anyone what their biggest fear is in a relationship, is that it would be the past repeating itself. Someone once told you “You don’t make me happy anymore.” so you’re constantly wondering if you’re making the person you’re with now happy. Someone once cheated on you and now you can’t stop thinking about that random person you saw comment on their picture or in the back of a snapchat. Someone once abused you and now you flinch any time they come at you just a little too quickly. Someone once told you that you were nothing without them, so you cling to the person you’re with because you feel you’d be nothing if they ever left you. Someone once walked away and never gave you a reason and now it’s been 2 hours and you’re freaking out because they haven’t responded. The truth is, our past will never repeat itself. Things may happen to us that are incredibly similar, but all things are a lesson. Our pasts were meant to teach us, guide us, and shape us into the person that we are truly supposed to be. So maybe you’re afraid of many things, but don’t let those many things ruin something great that might be sitting right in front of you. Your horrible past is NEVER going to be worth losing an incredible future.
“Sometimes you meet someone, and it’s so clear that the two of you, on some level belong together. As lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different. You just work, whether you understand one another or you’re in love or you’re partners in crime. You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive. I don’t know if that makes me believe in coincidence, or fate, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely makes me believe in something.”
Spending time with you made me realize how big my heart truly is. Kind of like a hot air balloon floating towards a blue open sky and I’m in awe of how beautiful everything feels when I’m in your arms. You smile at me, and I look at you with a sigh of relief that maybe you’re the answer to my every prayer, the rainbow after every storm and the healing after every tear. Just a day spent laughing together with you makes me believe that miracles do come true especially when they’re shared with the person I’d love to spend the rest of my sunsets with and that’s always going to be you, sweetheart. You are a miracle to behold, and you are a miracle to every star I’ve ever told that I love you so much with every inch and with every beat of my carelessly mortal heart. I am alive with the purpose of making you feel every pulse that I have is for you because you are real.
Art and love are the same thing: It’s the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you.
I thought about you a hundred million times- about how sorry I was, how much you changed my life, all the good times and the bad times played like movies in my head. I thought about you so many times that the individual streams of thought flowed into a river that constantly ran through my mind; a babbling brook of guilt that sometimes spilled out of my eyes. Ive spent so many hours trying to force these feelings of mine out of me and into the space between us, but the sounds get so lost in translation. Every song is just a single moment of bursting feeling, threaded through my vocal chords and woven into an image that takes several minutes to be seen. None of the songs are right. Like a painting of a place- the image is never the same as the real thing.I had almost forgotten the feeling you gave me. The single greatest gift I'd ever received. So unexpected and unexplainable. Feeling like I had never known my own soul, but somehow you saw it right away and pulled it straight to my surface so I could see it too. So I could show it to everyone. You did it again- the moment you spoke to me, I felt it. Your attention is like fire. It melts the whole world away.I begged you not to disappear again, knowing full well you'd say no. But I am selfish, and I asked anyway. Just so you'd know how much I missed you. Miss isn't even a strong enough word for the way I feel about being away from you. You isn't a strong enough word for what I'm missing. It's like the feeling that somewhere in another world, I didn't make those mistakes, and our whole lives were different because I never pushed you away. There's so much I want to say to you that my mind is too small to even think of it all. Instead the river will keep running. But a river has life- it is home to fish and it feeds the grass and trees on the riverbank. I know this river of feelings for you will lead me to an ocean someday. Maybe there I'll find the forgiveness I need to give myself.
"I will forgive, but never forget, I'll love you from a far because that's as close as I'll get, I'll wait to see you in my dreams because I know thats the only time we'll spend, So many messages I have I just never send, I hope one day our hearts will mend, and the hurt will someday transcend, I let you go because love is free, I know the future isnt guarenteed, I don't need you, you don't need me, but our connection has definately given me a key, When I think of you I go to the sea, it gives me a sense of peace, and helps me connect the puzzle pieces, it took me too long to see, Some things are not meant to be"