whereismymind

Im sorry. Im sorry your Hagworts letter didnt come in. Im sorry a satyr didnt come to take you to Camp Half Blood. Im sorry that you still havent met your Peeta, or Agustus Waters yet. Im sorry that you are surrounded by coplete morons. Im sorry that your forced to be here with terrible people. Im sorry.

"WHY?!" "Because I SAID SO!" good one mom you should be a lawyer.

things to EAT and DRINK in public:
-blue gatorade in a windex bottle
-water in a vodka bottle
-vannila pudding in a mayo jar
-grape juice in a meths bottle

twincle twincle little wh.ore close your legs your not a door. Your gonna catch an STD, your only wanted cause your free.....twincle, twincle little wh.ore, your cheaper than the dollar store.

dont take offense. I just saw it and thought it was funny.

I just wish that God or my parents or Sam or my sister or someone would just tell me what's wrong with me. Just tell me how to be different in a way that makes sense. To make this all go away. And disappear. I know that's wrong because it's my responsibility, and I know that things get worse before they get better because that's what my psychiatrist says, but this is a worse that feels too big.
-Charlie, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

what is Steves profile name? Ive been on witty for a while now and I dont even follow him.

Im a pretty nonviolent person, until I see a spider. Then I turn into Al Capone and Im like, I want him dead! I want his family dead! I want his house burned to the GROUND!

me home alone: I feel so lonely. I want to be cuddled.
me in public: dont talk to me! dont look at me! dont TOUCH me!

Why is it that all the great stuff happens when Im unprepared?
me: wearing my dads old t-shirt thats twice my size, some sweat pants, and brightly colored mitch matched socks, hair in a tangled wad on the top of my head
parents: hey! Lets go meet my friends super hot son who is your age!

me: has on the nicest dress that I own, super cute shoes, hair is perfect
parents: you cant go anywhere today! We have to clean, then reclean our whole house!

me:why were you crying the other day?
friend: Because Ms.Maxwell gave me a D.
guy friend: she gave you the d?
-everyone laughs
teacher: wait, what happened?
- I explain whole story to him
teacher: what?
me: You dont get it? The d........
teacher: no
-he thinks about it for a while
teacher: oh! hahahahaha!
me: how could you not get that?
teacher: Im sorry im not updated on the new lingo now and days!
me:your so innocent!
teacher: you guys are sick!
-he shakes his head and laughs again, then walks away.

That hilarious moment when you have to explain a dirty joke to your teacher.