Joined: July 20, 2012
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 319050

wittyfood's Favorite Quotes

An Everyday Thing...
*Me On Skype With A Friend*
*Stays Perfectly Still*
Friend: Dood, I Think Your Cam Froze Again..
Me: *Trying Hard To Not Laugh At Them*


"Nice save."


What Guys Think We Do At Sleepovers:

"OMG Pillow Fight!!"
"Lets Take Pics In Bikinis And Post Them Online!"
"I Know!! He's So Hot!"
"Lets Share Secrets!"
"Lets Prank Call People!"
"Lets Blast The Music So We Wake Up My Parents!"

What Me & My Friends Really Do At Sleepovers:

"I'm Hungry. Lets Raid The Fridge."
"Hey, How Many Cats Will I Die With?"
"Are There Multiple Breeds Of Llamas?"
"Your Brother Ate All The Chips!"
"Hey, I Found A Penny In Your Couch!"
"Lets Play Minecraft And Name Sheep Pablo!"
"Lets Have Celebrity Crushes!"
*One Pokes Whoever Falls Asleep First*
"You're Tired? Umm.. Ooh! Eat This Sour Lemon Skittle!"
"It's My Turn To Go On Witty!!!"

Aren't We Fantastic?

                                              Me walking into the class with jacket on

 Take that jacket off NOW!! It's against the rules!

Me: Omg, I'm so sorry! Is anyone hurt? No? Ok... I'll just slowly remove this extremely hazardous jacket... of my torso... and slowly freeze to death

Me: But miss, why are you wearing a jacket?

Teacher: Because it's cold and...

Me: Everybody get down! She's got a jacket!

Teacher: *facepalm*


I used to think Plankton was weird for marrying his computer.
Now I am Plankton.

Attractive person:  Hey
Me: Is this some kind of sick joke?


The Last movie you watched...
Is now the story of your life. How screwed are you?!

0 7

Hello, I am 


Just kidding.. FOREVER ALONE. 
Walmart: Hey, let's buy 30 cash registers and only keep 2 open.