Am i still breathing?
Chapter Six
I pull the rope tighter around my hurting
neck, and look at myslef in the mirror. My tear streaked face was
slowly turning a sickening shade of purple. Black mascara was
heavily smeared on my pale face. Slowly my vision began to leave,
black walls caving in. Sparkling dots filled my view. Then I
panicked. I needed air. I cant die now, I want to get married and
have kids. I want to graduate highschool. I let loose of my tight
grip on the itchy rope, and dramically calapsed on the carpet
floor. I woke up and hour later with a pounding headache. I got
up and looked in the mirror. Eyeliner ran down my cheeks, and my
eyes were puffy and swollen. There was a bruise on my left cheek.
It was a mucky shade of green with a little purple here and
there. I stood there mesmerized by the colors of my skin. I
couldnt do this anymore. I just cant keep going on and act like
nothing is wrong, because everything is wrong. I walked down the
stairs slowly, and pulled my mom from the conversation she was
having with a couple of adults.
"What?" She asked sounding kind of annoyed, probably
because she was having a great time with the adults.
"I need to go to the hospital." I said, my voice weak,
and cracky, "Now." I added urgently. She gave me an
'are you stupid?' or something like that kind of look,
and shrugged her shoulder noting she wanted to know what for.
"I need help, like mental hospital help.." I said
trying not to sound like I was an idiot.
Am i still breathing?
Chapter Five
I dont even remember what had happened.
Brady and I just blew up I guess. I remember punching him in the
bacj of his neck, and kicking him down the stairs infront of all
the guests. He punched me twice in the arm and in the cheek. With
his arms that could bench two hundred, against mine which could
barely life fifty. I ran up the stairs away from all of mine and
bradys friends and ran up to my room. I slammed the door which
was already broken, and cried into my pillow. Wanna know what
hurt the most? My best friends had left to go play volleyball at
the park with all the other teenagers, not even bothering to ask
if i wanted to come or even ask if i was okay. I felt my face
heat up in anger, and i clench my fist bringing it towards the
blue wall. My fist made contact and annother hole in my wall was
added to the collection. I brought out my razor blade and lifted
up my sleeve. I flinched as the razor ripped apart my scarred
skin. Why do I feel like everyone hates me. I dont want to do
this anymore. I walked over to my closet and grabbed my scarf,
wrapping it tightly around my neck. Tears fell out of my eyes
like a water fall. Be strong, Hailey. Dont chicken out now. I
pulled tighter, and wheezed in what i hoped would be my last
breath.
Authors Note: this is true story about me and my life, I went
through everything here, and just thought what happened to me
would make an interesting story... feedback? :)
Am i still breathing?
Chapter Four
I woke up tom my mother shaking me awake.
When I opened my eyes to the blinding light of my ceiling
lighting, i cringed. She told me today we were having a small
birthday party for Brady. She exited my room and I slowly got up.
Great. Brady was probably going to do his best to embaress me
infront of his and my friends. I got up and felt my head swirl
around and black dots fill my vision. i cleanched my fist around
the dressers edge and squeeed my eyes shut. The dizzyness passed
and I could see again. Its been four days since i had last eaten.
Maybe I could just eat a little.... No. I cant. I need to keep
going. I changed into a pair of light wash ripped jeans and a
green low cut t-shirt. I straightened my already pin straight
hair, and did my makeup. I sprayed myself in my favorite perfume,
and walked out of my room. I hopped down the carpeted stairs and
walked into the kitchen. The island in the middle of the kitchen
was over flowing with food. My mom always over cooked for things
like this. I heard the doorbell ring. Great the first guests had
arrived, let the 'fun' begin.
Authors Note: this is true story about me and my life, I went
through everything here, and just thought what happened to me
would make an interesting story... feedback? :)
Am i still breathing?
Chapter Three
Katherine ended up spending the night, so
we stayed up and did what any teenage girl would do. We watched
movies, painted eachothers nails, read magazines, and fangirled
over the cute boys at our school.We went to bed at around three
in the morning, and woke up by an unplesent surprise. I felt a
stinging pain in my thigh. Of course I opened my eyes to find my
younger brother tanner, who is much stronger than me digging his
knuckle into my thigh. Igot up, and pushed him out of my room,
barley. Katherine woke up and later went home. I walked down
stairs and went into the office to find brady on facebook looking
through girls slutty pictures.
"Brady, I need the computor." I said.
"For what?" He asked his eyes glued on the lap tops
screen.
"I have to write a report of english." I said, knowing
this would be taking a while.
"Whats the report about?" He asked, knowing he was just
wasting time.
"Just look, I need it!" I said my voice rising. My mom
then stomped in and yelled at me. Lecturing me about having to be
more nice to my sibblings. She ordered me upstairs. I went back
to my room, obeying her. I didnt want to get in deeper trouble
then i already was. I flopped on my bed and turned on my ipod in
its home. I played some Demi Lovato, and did my math homework. In
the middle of an artical I fell asleep dreaming about the perfect
life i knew i would never have.
Authors Note: this is true story about me and my life, I went
through everything here, and just thought what happened to me
would make an interesting story... feedback? :)
Am i still breathing?
Chapter One
I fell on the ground as a fist pounded
into my cheek bone. Tears quickly fell from my blue eyes, and
streaked my cheeks. Brady walked away angerly and slamed his
bedroom door shut. All i did was try to blen into the family and
tell a joke. but instead of getting laughter I got a beating. I
brought my hand up to my face and covered up the spot where he
hit me with the palm of my hand. As soon and it made
contact I automatically felt stinging pain. I flinched and ran
upstairs to my room. I shut the door, and ran over to my drawer
where I kept my razor, rusty and gross, with dried blood in
between its small knives. 1, 2, 3. I told
myself as I quickly slide across my skin with the sharp device. i
repeated this four times, leaving four fresh new wounds that
would soon turn into white scars blending in with all of my other
ones. I threw the razor in the drawer angerly, and slammed it
shut. Tears were streaming down my face. Im never going to be
good enough. never. What did do to deserve this? I still
couldnt answer this small little question after years of
pondering it. I plopped on my bed, and rested my bleeding arms on
the stained sheets, letting them soak up the red liquid. I didnt
care. Neither did anyone else. Nor would anyone ever. I slowly
cried myself to sleep, thinking of how miserable I was.
I woke up the next morning at six. its a saterday. why was I
awake so early? I heard my small stomach growl, begging to be
fed. But I refused. Two days without eating. I can do this. I got
up, and threw on a pair of jeans, and a sweat shirt. I texted my
friend Katherine, and told her to come over. Katherine is my best
friend in the whole world. She is basically my only true friend.
Shes been with me since day one. Literally. It didnt matter,
though, if she was there, I would still get treated the same way
by everyone except my mom.
Authors Note: Hey guys :D I just started writing this story, and
just so you know its a true story about me and my life, I went
through everything here, and just thought what happened to me
would make an interesting story... Check out the prologue!
feedback? :)
Am i still breathing?
Prologue
I'm Hailey. I'm fifteen years old,
and my life is great, except for my family life. I have a ton of
friends at my school, and im the popular girl who every one is in
love with. My grades are okay, and i'm on the cheer leading
team. I play soccer, and its my passion. Every day is perfect,
until my bus stops, and its time for me to get off, and walk
home. I hate being home. I have three brothers, and a little
sister. They bully me so much, I cant even tell you how much im
hurt. I cut myself, but my parents dont even care, they see the
slits and blood stains every where, and the bandages on my wrist,
but they could care less. It doesnt matter what I do, unless I do
something that doesnt please them. Then they all of a sudden
start watching my every little move just waiting to ground me. I
never really cared though. I mean, I would get super depressed
but Im still here. My older brother Brady, is eighteen and he
beats me up a lot. I never really comsidered it as abuse, knowing
hes my brother. But I always have at least on cut or bruise on my
would be perfect skin because of him. My thirteen year old
brother Tanner and I get into fights aswell, and he is taller
than me and stronger than me, so I usually end up getting hurt. I
never really thought about this until the day when I snapped. It
was the day when I was first called, 'fat' and I hated
it. I start to replay the memory in my head, pain of the past
hurting my head.
"Hailey, what the f/ck?" I heard brady say. I looked at
him not knowing what was wrong. "You ate all of the freaking
chips! Seriously your so fat, i dont even know how you got into
cheer." I dont know why but this was the moment I had
snapped. The day I had actually started cutting, and the day I
threw up those chips for the first time. This was when I started
hating everything about me. And it ate at me, every minute of
every day.
Authors Note: Hey guys :D I just started writing this story, and
just so you know its a true story about me and my life, I went
through everything here, and just thought what happened to me
would make an interesting story... feedback? :)