xLifeAintAlwaysBeautifulx

he was my bestfriend, i screwed up, hes gone . i cant breathe i cried myself to sleep, when i woke up i had tears running donw my face and i still do . i dont see the point of living without him here ..i promised i wouldnt cut, im trying so hard to keep that promise .. i dont know what to do ...i NEED him ..this is one of those times i cant cover the pain up with a fake smile ...i dont think the pain is worth it ...

i cant wait for next week ..i finally get to leave this place for a few days and not have to worry bout getting called names . home is where youre supposed to feel safe ..but uhhh, i dont . maybe its just me but if someone starts throwing knifes because theyre mad at you i get scared beyond belief ..i dont want to be here anymore . but i dont want to leave my mom, or have to change schools again .. the beach needs to come faster, its pretty much my only escape .. ;/