hi everyone. i want to just let something out. you can read this,
ignore this, laugh at this, whatever you want to do. this is 100%
true. and very corny, and embarrasing. I feel like i just need to
let this out, and not keep it bottled inside me. here it goes:
everyone knows the band one direction. some people dislike them,
while some love them. to each their own. everyone has their own
opinions. i happen to love them, but for a more personal reason.
for a while now, i've been going through some tough times, and
started cutting.recently, i've been having suicidal thoughts
and dreams. i'm a very insecure person as well. so those things
don't mix very well. i cut because i hate my body. i hate
everything about it. but after listening to one direction, i start
to feel a tiny spark of..hope? something different, but something
good. even though its just a song, it makes me realize that someone
out there knows what i'm going through. and when little things
came out, i cried and cried. because that song points out every
single flaw that i have. i squeeze into my jeans. i don't want
to know hoow much i weigh because it's not what i want. i hate
the sound of my voice on tape, and i do not love myyself. that song
hit home...hard. and after times kept getting harder and harder,
that's when the suicidal thoughts and dreams happened. i
didn't know what to do. and the corny part? that this...band of
5 average guys whose dreams came true; this band, literally saved
my life. their music helped me get through things. you might be
thinking that i'm making this up to get attention, but i would
*never* do that. all i would like..is to just thank them. just say
thank you...you really did save my life. but they will never see
this, or find me. it's pointless to keep my hopes up. and with
niall, i feel like i can relate to him. because recieves hate,
which they of course shouldn't, but it hits him hard. just like
me. i know what its like to get hate and have people bring you
down. and honestly, that feeling sucks. so i respect them all for
trying to stay stong. again, i'm not making this up "just
to meet them". it would be amazing for me to thank them.
imagine how they would feel, or how you would feel, if someone came
up to you and said that you saved someones life. they would never
recognize someone like me. i'm just a nobody.