xowithloveamgox

This Is Me

No more lies, made-up stories, or trying to be cool.
This is the completely honest truth about everything I can think of.

I’ve been through a lot of crap in my life. I’ve lost my very best friend to something as stupid as a club we made up in fifth grade. I’ve had my heart broken by a boy who didn’t even know he was breaking it, and who wasn’t even mine. I’ve lied, cheated, and stolen. Who hasn’t? I’ve been slapped, made fun of, and gossiped about. Heck, I’ve even been somewhat part of the so called “popular crowd”. I’ve cried myself to sleep, wanted to beat someone up, and wanted to die. I’ve told secrets, broken promises, and caused tears. Sometimes I wonder, what if? What if I hadn’t run away from my best friend that recess, leaving her and my other friend in tears? What if I hadn’t ever met that one boy that I still love? What if I hadn’t made those new friends? What would my life be like? I can only imagine. It’s my friends that bring out my crazy side. If I hadn’t made those decisions, I wouldn’t have those friends. I would be that quiet girl in the corner who’s always immersed in a book. I would never have told him how I felt. I would be myself, I wouldn’t pretend to hate the rain just because one of the cool people said they did. I just so happen to love the rain. I hate most rap music. I love country music. I would choose curling up with a good book over going to the mall any day. I don’t like the color pink. I am in love with the color blue. I do think I’m somewhat pretty. I do like my natural hair from time to time. Thunderstorms are my favorite thing in the world. Fingerless gloves make my life. I hate Abercrombie. I hate Hollister. I love American Eagle and Forever 21. I like Hot Topic and Pac sun. I hate mint flavor. I’m terrified of the dark. I am insecure. I hate my name. I don’t watch Secret Life. I do watch SpongeBob, and can probably name any episode. I have only once actually accidentally texted someone. All the other times I meant for them to get the message. I cry when I read books, whether it’s a sad moment or not. Twizzlers are my favorite candy. I believe in magic. I absolutely adore old things. Old houses, old books, old keys for old locks, old furniture, not old people. I have zero tolerance for old people. And little kids. I hate playing soccer. I enjoy watching it. I love playing football, but not competitively. I love watching football. I despise everything about baseball and golf. Basketball is tolerable, but only when playing for fun. I openly despise my parents, but I know I do love them and they love me. I openly despise my brother at times, and used to absolutely hate my sister. The one time I’ve cried hardest in my life was because of a boy. I am still in love with that same boy. I took apart my Rubik’s Cube to pretend I solved it. I hate math. I love L.A. The best thing in the entire world for me that would make me the happiest person on the planet is my own library room filled with good books and a window seat in an old house that uses an old key to get into in a place where it rains almost every day. People who make fun of me infuriate me. I’d love to just walk to a park and read. I write stories. I love red roses. I don’t like being helped. I like to figure things out myself. People who always ask for help severely irritate me. I love to laugh. I love to smile. I hate lip gloss. I have a thing for boxes and glass bottles or jars. The littlest things can make me happy. My own feelings don’t matter to me. All I really care about is that the people I love are happy. Everything I’ve written here is the complete and honest truth. If you thought otherwise, you don’t know me. If you'd like to know anything else, ask.