xxHelloLovelyxx

Status: wow i should change my layouts more often
Joined: May 16, 2012
Last Seen: 6 years
Birthday: September 17
user id: 300221
Location: Massachusetts
 
we kissed until our lips felt swollen
hi i'm chris and i like cocoa, warm weather, hugs, being called beautiful,
forehead kisses, art, summertime, photography, him in general,
having someone to call mine, christmastime, late-night skype calls, candles,
tattoos, cute texts, nicknames, travelling, good dreams, and memories.
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Quotes by xxHelloLovelyxx

Do you guys remember Billy (from 'in his arms')? He was the young boy who died from a disease of his lung. Billy's character was based off of someone who attends my high school. His name is Connor, he's a freshman, and he has collapsing lung. He went in for surgery last night to get new lungs and while they said the operation took a long time, it was a success, but the recovery will not be quick or easy. I'm so nervous for him because I love the kid so much. If you guys could just keep him in your thoughts for a while, I'd appreciate it. He deserves all the support he can get.
Love you Connor. Get better soon, bud.

So my neighbors were having a yardsale this weekend (same neighbors I wrote 'Hold on to Him' about) and the mother (her actual name is Linda) was talking to me and she's probably the sweetest lady ever. She's still devastated over the loss of her son, which was 15 years ago. He would've been 30 this year and honestly I feel so awful for the family. Anyways, her other son (Ian, who's 28 and the main character in 'Hold on to Him') came outside and he's so gorgeous and cute and we were talking and Linda goes "Christina, if you were a little older I'd set you two up to get married!" and Ian and I laughed it off but on the inside I was like "These people don't know I wrote an entire story about my fantasies with their son..."


One year ago today...

I remember exactly where I was. I was in my bedroom, sprawled out across my bed. My room was arranged differently, but I still remember it perfectly. I decided I was going to write a short story. I had before tried (and failed miserably) at getting big on Witty with my stories on a different account. I created an account with the alias xxHelloLovelyxx.
At 7:22 pm, Wednesday, May 16, 2012, I posted the first chapter of 'Blue-Eyed Beauty.' I made a comment at the bottom that said, "I'll continue posting if this gets more than 10 faves" because I'd never gotten more than 4 on a story. The first chapter got 87 favorites over the course of the night.
I was so excited, I wouldn't put my laptop down. I didn't eat dinner that night. I was sitting in the family room that night with my dad and brother and I think there was a sport on the television but I'm not sure. My dad insisted I ate the chicken strips he made for me, so I took a plate, but I never actually ate them.
I was so excited I wrote the next chapter the same night, and posted it as well.
I got home to find I had over 100 followers, all gained from just two chapters of a story.
Over the course of the year on Witty, I'd posted 8 stories: Down This Road, Dreams of Zachary, Favorite Mistake, Firefly, Hold on to Him, and finally, in his arms. I have 1,349 beautiful followers (most of which are dormant by now) and, through this account, I've made some wonderful best friends: Elizabeth (thesweetestmoments), Eli (Eli22b), Joe (JoeBro, no longer active) and so many more it would take me forever to name. But you guys were here, you gave me confidence. And my life has changed so much since that Wednesday as a little freshmen in my bedroom with an idea and some sort of luck, and it makes me sad thinking about how much time has changed. I don't know, I just thought I should mark the anniversary somehow, so here it is.
Happy One Year Anniversary, Witty.

 
My Speech on Religion.
    Separation of church and state needs to be more rigid because people feel the need to use the bible to create or destroy laws, there are many people with different religions who don’t support that God, and it’s simply showing that while the amendment says, “Freedom of Religion,” it’s not actively enforced.
    The bible is a factor when making laws, fact. I grew up in a Catholic household. I attended Sunday School until 8th grade and prayer was always required at the dinner table. But when I entered high school, I realized that this God that I’ve been praying to is one I’ve never actually believed in. When I told my grandmother this, she cried and she's never looked at me the same way again. And it was then that I realized just how big of a role religion plays in relationships between people. And while religion does have a role on whether or not my grandmother and I would remain friends, it shouldn’t play a role on my basic rights as a human. People like to use the Bible as this big excuse—abortion is wrong because the bible says so. Gay marriage is wrong because the bible says so. Assisted suicide and euthanasia are wrong because the bible says so. But there are 63 million Americans—20% of the country’s population—who don’t follow the bible. If I want an abortion, I should be allowed to get one no matter how the next person feels about abortion. It’s my body, and I should be able to do what I want with it and I shouldn’t be prevented from a book that I don’t even believe in. I heard a quote once, and I’m not sure who said it, but it went: “Telling someone that they can’t get married because of your religion is like telling that person they can’t eat that cookie because you’re on a diet.” If you don’t support abortion, don’t get an abortion. If you don’t support gay marriage, don’t get gay married. But the first amendment clearly states, “Freedom of Religion,” for a reason. The bible shouldn’t be involved.
    There are many people in America who don’t believe in Christianity, fact. Have you ever noticed that every day, when you stand up to take a pledge to your country, whose first amendment includes Freedom of Religion, that you take an oath to a God? Or when someone is testifying in court, and they place their hand on the bible, and they pledge to tell the truth, “so help [them] God?” Well, what about the people who don’t believe in that God, or in any God at all? While I understand that these rules have been used for so many years and it’s difficult to just remove them without causing controversy, you have to understand that times change. Think of how much America itself has changed from the 1800’s. Style, music, society.  Ethnicity and religion. It’s all changed. We’re constantly modifying laws to fit the changes of the world around us. While America’s main religion is Christianity, where 80% of Americans identify themselves as Christian, that means that 20% of America’s citizens do not believe or associate their beliefs with the God they are supposed to pledge themselves to every day. 63 million people in America. Other religions that don’t affiliate with the bible include: Native American, Chinese, Buddhism, Atheism and Muslim. Just because Christianity is the majority doesn’t make it a necessity. If you’re going to tell me that you can’t argue against these standards because Christianity is the majority, well, there are still other religions there. One out of every five Americans isn’t Christian and doesn’t follow their beliefs, and they shouldn’t have to.
    Freedom of Religion is a right to all humans, fact. I, personally, don’t see it as a big request to completely remove religion from the law. I’m not asking to replace, “One nation under God” with “One nation under no God,” or “One nation under Muhammad.” I’m just asking for it to be removed. I’m not saying that Christianity is a bad thing, it’s just one that I don’t agree with, and one I don’t think I should need to follow. If I want to marry a woman who I’m in love with, hypothetically, then I should have every right to do so. A book that has nothing to do with my beliefs shouldn’t stop me. I’m not saying this country is a disgrace because it’s denying me my rights, because it’s not a disgrace. I just believe that the judicial system needs moderation. Like everything else evolves, laws and regulations should too. I’m not asking for much, and yet to some people, it still seems like too much.
    There are three facts I’ve dwelled on: The bible is a factor when making laws, there are many people in America who don’t believe in Christianity, and Freedom of Religion is a basic human right. All of these are true, and all of these need to start being recognized and addressed. Separation of church and state needs to be more rigid. I can honestly say that being told that I shouldn’t tell people my religion or that my religion isn’t something to be proud of is one of the most narrowminded things I’ve ever heard. In an America where everything is evolving and changing and a place where you’re allowed to be different and feel okay about it, people need to start understanding that not everyone believes the same way they do and that a difference in opinion is okay. Differences make the world go round, right? So let me be different. And don’t make me follow your religion’s rules when I have the right that says I shouldn’t have to.
Hate comments will be deleted because I literally have no more f.cks to give.


Just a quote.
This is just a little something to let everyone out there who has been diagnosed professionally with depression that you are amazing and I'm so proud of you.
have bipolar disorder (among other things) and there is medicine I should be taking for it, but ever since I was little and my mom first started getting sick, I've been opposed to all medicines. So I haven't ever taken a pill to help control it.
People like to make jokes about bipolar disorder. They say people that change their minds too quickly are bipolar. That isn't what bipolar is. People who are bipolar have a week or two where they feel really happy--sometimes too happy. It only takes something very small to shift their mood to the point where they're too upset to leave their room. I've missed a lot of school because of it. All it is is a simple hormonal imbalance in the brain. But it has a huge affect on my life and personality.
Usually, when I get into one of those slumps, I'm able to make myself numb. I write or read or go out and I'm okay. Usually my slumps only last a few days, not weeks or months. But this weekend, I wasn't able to make myself numb.
I was actually sad. I felt sad and I felt everything and it was probably the worst feeling ever. I couldn't stop crying and I actually started yelling at my father last night over the most trivial thing just because I felt so overwhelmed. The sadness literally consumed everything, I was too sad to even focus on reading. But I was just sad.
People with depression have to live like that every single day. People who are professionally diagnosed, let me add. Because there is a difference between sadness and depression. I was only sad this weekend. I never want to know how it feels to be depressed.
I have a whole new respect for people with depression. I was barely able to tolerate the weekend, never mind weeks and months of just the constant pain. The constant inability to focus. The constant feeling of being eaten by something intangible.
I am so proud of you for making it this far. I don't know you and I don't have to know you to know that if you've been professionally diagnosed with depression that you are so incredibly strong and I can't emphasize it enough. I just though everyone out there struggling should know that you're going to be okay. I promise.
You'll be okay.


Today in school,
someone asked me why I would voulantarily spend extra time writing. My response was:
"This world sucks, so I created my own."


It's finished.
The rough draft of Chinese Lanterns was finished today at 3:44.
I want to put the emphasis on 'rough draft.' It's no where close to being actually done. But it's getting there.
The rough draft is 19 chapters and an epilogue. It's 117 pages and 56,361 words.
The entire book takes place over 3 days. My teacher is calling it a "Masterpiece in the making."
Would you like a little preview? (:

 
     I crossed the sands of the calm beaches, and I encountered the people who were lighting off the lanterns. We didn’t exchange words, I only passed by them. They stood on the beach directly in front of the cottage.
     The moon was a bright, wonderful orb in the dark night sky that evening, and I decided I didn’t actually want to go inside. So I moved myself to the water and, wading ankle deep, I watched the people light off the lanterns.
     That night was perfect. The wind was gentle, the beach was serene, and the moon was beautiful. As my eyes were locked on the wonderful sphere, I decided to myself that this would be the perfect place for a kiss.
     No sooner had the thought entered my mind, I heard the swishing of running footsteps splashing up the beach and through the water, in my direction. With a skipping heartbeat, I whirled my head around.

 
I know it's not much, again, but at least it's something.
Thank you guys for being awesome. I love you! I'll keep you updated when more stuff starts happening with it (:
Peace.

(Oh, by the way, there's a chance a girl I used to be friends with might be on 'The Voice' tonight. Her name's Dakota and she's kind of really pretty. She's a good singer (obviously) and used to go to my high school before she started to get homeschooled because she was travelling so much. Keep an eye out for her!)

Macklemore.
        So I'm currently enrolled in a Public Speaking class in school. The first assignment was to write a speech on anything. It could only last from 2-3 minutes. So, I chose Macklemore. I thought you guys might enjoy it.
 
        "When I was asked the question, 'What are you going to do for your speech?' I answered with, 'Macklemore.' No one really knew who Macklemore was, so to describe him, I said, 'The guy who sings Thrift Shop.' Instantly, everyone knows who I'm talking about. And you guys kind of gave me weird looks or giggled, like, 'How is this girl going to write a 2 minute speech on a guy who sings about thrift shopping?'
         "Well, that guy is actually named Ben Haggerty. Ben was born June 19, 1983, in Seattle, Washington. In the year 2000, when he was 16, he began his music carreer. He released an album under the name of Prof. Macklemore. The album's sales were minimal.
         "In 2005, Macklemore began abusing substances. OxyContin, in specific. He hit rock bottom to the point where he lost everything; his home, his family, and even his music carreer. In 2008, after 3 years of drug addiction, he finally decided to clean himself up. He was sober by 2009.
          "The Heist was the next album to be released. This album was released under the name Macklemore. He dropped the Prof. The Heist features Thrift Shop, but it also has songs like Otherside and Same Love. On this album, Macklemore talks about adolescent violence, suicide, gay marriage and drug addiction. In his song Otherside, where he profiles substance abuse, he uses the quote:
           "You're stuck, looking in a mirror like I can't believe what I've become. Swore I was gonna be someone, and growing up, everyone always does. We sell our dreams and our potential to escape through that buzz.
           
   "Same Love describes Macklemore's views on gay marriage and gay rights. In that song, he uses the line:
              "It's the same hate that caused war over religion. Gender to skin color. The complexion of your pigment. The same fight that led people to walk-outs and sit-ins. It's human rights for everybody, there is no difference. Live on and be yourself.
               "And this man is famous for the line: I wear your grandad's clothes. I look incredible.
             "Macklemore is so much better than Thrift Shop. Macklemore is an inspiration and my idol. He's the reason why I keep pushing myself to be better and to make the right descions. He's such a poetic genius and it's disgusting that he's famous for potentially the worst song he'll ever produce. Macklemore is not the guy who sings Thrift Shop. Macklemore is the man who's attempting to change the genre of rap and hip hop music.
              "That is Macklemore. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you write a 2 minute speech on the man who sings about thrift shops."



Dear followers,
Hello. Christina here. (:
I think I owe you guys an explanation as to why I haven't posted anything since the final chapter of my previous story. I didn't even give you an author's note. The last words that you read that were mine were, The End. That's not a very classy goodbye.
No, this isn't a goodbye, if that's what you were wondering. This is just a 'See you later' sort of thing.
The first reason I've been hesitant to post is the freaking moderators on here. The fact that Steve just handed over power to randoms makes me so mad. Like, deleting quotes that break the rules is one thing. Deleting my story is something completely different. There's nothing wrong with it and I worked really hard on that. So you, Anonymous Moderator, can go f.ck yourself.
Okay, enough negative. Part two on Why Christina Hasn't Posted Anything In Days. I started another story called 'Kite Strings and Paper Dreams,' and honestly, it's not all that great. I'm not into in and I feel no need to continue on with a story I don't like. I'm not attached to these characters. I don't like it, I won't post it.
So that leaves me with the question, "What do I post on Witty?"
When I first asked myself this, I thought for a while. I have other ideas for short stories, but now, looking back, short stories are really just practice for me. They're nothing amazing. They're actually quite horrible compared to my more mature writing. And honestly, I feel like I've had enough practice. Like most of you may know, I am in contact with a published author by the name of Wendy Wunder. She wrote, 'The Probability of Miracles,' an awesome book which I have yet to finish, but I'm right in the middle and it's hard to put it down. We've emailed a few times back and forth, and it's really cool to have support from someone who's like her. Yesterday, I went into Boston and took a writing class she suggested for me and I met a bunch of other aspiring writers from the Boston area, and it's amazing to meet people with the same dreams as me.
So, as you can tell, I've begun to take my writing very seriously. I don't have time for the short stories anymore, what with this life I've developed outside of the internet and with my bigger dreams. I don't want to waste time on something that I don't need anymore. Would a baseball player who's an amazing pitcher keep practicing his throwing, or should he move on to other things? I say he moves on. Which is what I'm doing.
But I do want to give you a glimpse as to what I'm moving on to. Here's an excerpt from my book, "Chinese Lanterns."

     I was more than anything just watching the stars. They were beautiful, actually. Somewhat mystifying and enigmatic. Spellbinding. I remember laying in my yard when I was little, Sid by my side, while I just watched the stars. I knew they were motionless, and I felt bad for them. Living in a stationary life for the rest of eternity is not a life at all.
     However, these stars didn’t remain immobile. They drifted across the night sky. They weren’t actually stars at all. Confused, I sat up in the sand. “What’s that in the sky?”
     Jen followed my eyes. “Oh, those are Chinese Lanterns.”

 
I know it's not much. You can read the rest when I get published (;
But that's not the only reason I will not be writing short stories anymore.
The reason I left Witty in the first place was not exactly the same reason. I was afraid of the fact that my stories might be stolen, and also, I felt like I had other business to attend to. I had developed more friends and again felt like there was no time for the internet. I swore I would never be back.
In October, I found out my parents were getting a divorce. In November, we found out my mother was addicted to Oxycotton. In December, she was legally banned from my house and from seeing us. A few weeks ago, she left me a voicemail basically saying how much she hates me and how I belong in Juvenille Detention (for supporting my father) and how she never wants me to contact her again. Last weekend she left me another voicemail saying she's given up on me. So life got very real very fast for me. I detatched myself from everything and everyone. And, amidst feeling alone, I felt like I needed someone. So I turned to Witty again.
I can't thank you guys enough for supporting me and helping me. It meant the world to me and it got me through a lot. But I'm okay now. For the first time in half a year, I can say I'm happy again. That feels so amazing.
That's why I'm not going to say I'm never coming back. Because I know if I ever feel really lost or really alone, I've got Witty to count on. I never realized how much all of you guys have done for me. Elizabeth, Melanie, Joe and Eli to name a few. I love all of you who helped me through everything. You're all really godda mn perfect.

I will stay on my quote account, and you can contact me on my tumblr (links on my profile).
This is not a goodbye.
See you later, Witty.

in his arms
Chapter 65
The sixth day I went without eating was the day nobody left my side. We all sat in the living room together as Anthony recited a book aloud to us.
It was Stained, by Jennifer Richard Jacobson. As he retold the story, I was sort of swept back to San Salvador, where Anthony and I first lived together, where we first shared the same bed. Reflecting back, I realized those sixteen days were the happiest days of my life.
All because of Anthony.
My head was in his lap, and a warm blanket covered my body.
I wasn’t listening to his words anymore; rather I was focused on his face.
I remembered when Billy died, and how I spent days in my room, crying and alone. I hoped Anthony wouldn’t be like that over me. I hoped he wouldn’t cry over me. I spent the last four months of my life working so hard just to make him happy. I didn’t want to make him unhappy in any way now.
I’d seen him cry plenty of times since I became like this. He tried to be secretive with it, but wasn’t always successful. Even now I swore his eyes looked slightly glassier than they normally did.
I wasn’t afraid of death anymore. I guess in some respect I was, but not nearly as much as I had been. I’d grown to be accepting of it, and almost appreciative of it. It was some sort of escape from this pain.
I felt my breathing turn raspy, almost like my throat was closing. I tried to remain calm and slow my breathing. I hoped nobody would notice.
Of course, Anthony did. He only looked at me shortly. I tried to force a smile to tell him that I was okay, but my lips couldn’t manage a twitch.
I felt his breath on my face. He was warm and enchanting. I closed my eyes with the delight of his breath on me.
I heard him put the book down as he cradled me in his arms. I was in his arms, and I was okay.
I loved the feeling of being in his arms. His arms felt like home, like I belonged there, like they morphed perfectly to my body. Like they were made just for me. In his arms, I was fit. Invincible, even. And I loved it.
In his arms, I felt healthy, and he felt healthy beneath me. I felt no hindrances of chemotherapy or of leukemia, and every breath I took seemed fresher than the next.
I was strong again. I was resilient and focused, and life was breathed into me. I was vigorous. I had confidence.
I was safe. I was protected. Nothing could get at me; I wasn’t afraid. In his arms, I was fearless.
He created a shield around me by simply letting me swim in the perfection of his touch. In his arms, I was sheltered.
He took the weight of the world off of my shoulders by simply wrapping his arms around my body. We were okay now. I was okay now. Not even the illusory fear of death could penetrate the wall of protection Anthony’s arms created.
I loved his hugs. I felt needed, wanted. In his arms, I felt loved. Like I had a purpose. Like I was someone’s reason to smile, laugh, fight, live, even. I loved the feeling his arms brought over me.
He had a way of making me feel like I was on air, like I had no problems. He created a world of his own by wrapping his arms around me.
And I became breathless, weightless. I hadn’t any problems. I was lost again. It was amazing, how I felt in his arms.
And in his arms, I had purpose. I wasn’t worthless anymore. He filled the vacancy in my chest with an infinite love. He completed me.
In his arms, I was important. He made me feel special. His arms were weak themselves, but they made me feel so strong.
I was in his arms, and I was okay.
And just like that, the pain was gone. I felt healthy again, like I did the night we spent on the lake. The night I fell in love with him.
I was in his arms, and I was okay.
I couldn’t feel his touch on me anymore. I could only feel the water that surrounded me. It was warm and gentle and dark. It reminded me of the waters of San Salvador, and I imagined that the beach there would be my heaven. I bathed myself in the water.
I inhaled gently. My last breath.
I was in his arms, and I was okay.
The End.