xxHelloLovelyxx

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we kissed until our lips felt swollen
hi i'm chris and i like cocoa, warm weather, hugs, being called beautiful,
forehead kisses, art, summertime, photography, him in general,
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in his arms
Chapter 64
I could feel it growing on me. It shadowed me, followed me everywhere. I was inhaling it, I slept in a pool of it. Every time I closed my eyes, it was there.
The death I felt around me was inescapable.
I hadn’t eaten in five days, and I hadn’t left the couch in three. Anthony stayed with me, unmoving. He could tell, everyone could tell.
Anthony had become more open about death. He’d began to understand that while this wasn’t entirely what I wanted, that it was my own decision, my own doing.
“I’ll miss you,” I offered in a room flooded by silence.
His features hardened. “Kaitlyn, stop.”
He was still uncomfortable discussing death. I suppose I should’ve been more considerate of him, but I was thinking selfishly.
“Stop what?”
“Stop trying to say goodbye. It’s not over yet.”
“Anthony, I’m tired.” His eyes met mine. “I will miss you, though.”
He dipped his head again. “Not half as much as I’ll miss you.”
I shrugged. “I’m nothing special. You’ll get over me.”
“I won’t, Kaitlyn.”
“What’s there to miss?”
Almost immediately, he snapped, “I’m going to miss the way you walk. I’m going to miss the way you speak, the way you treat everyone so gentle.” His voice initially came out angry, but it had softened as he continued. “I’m going to miss the smell of your skin and the twinkling in your eyes when I can make you laugh. I’m going to miss making memories, like we’d done all summer. I’m going to miss kissing you and holding your hand. I’m going to miss wrapping you in my arms and feeling like a superhero because I was the one thing that could make the woman I loved happy. I’m going to miss your laugh and I’m going to miss knowing I was the reason behind your smiles.” His eyes met mine. A flow of tears streamed down both of our faces. “I’m going to miss having someone there. I’m going to miss having someone who’s proud of you, someone who’s always been there. I’m going to miss, well, everything, Kaitlyn.”
I couldn’t speak. The words wouldn’t come to me.
“I’m going to miss you, Kaitlyn. And to be honest, it f.cking p.sses me off when you put yourself down. You know how special you are to me. Don’t say you’re nothing special. You’re amazing.”
And suddenly, guilt overwhelmed me. “Anthony, I’m sorry,” I coughed through my sobs.
“Sorry about what?”
“Giving up.”
He shook his head. “You didn’t give up, Kaitlyn. You were such a fighter. I’m so proud of you. You know that, right?”
“I could’ve done one of the treatments. I could’ve been stronger—“
“A person can only be so strong for so long, Kaitlyn.”
I felt my body shudder. I couldn’t speak.
“Wherever you are, Kail,” he hummed to me, “wherever I am. I’m yours, remember? I always will be.” He looked me in the eyes. “So you can let go now.”


I'll post the last chapter tomorrow if this even pops up in your news feed.
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in his arms
Chapter 63
“Do you remember that hello?” I asked him as I laid on the couch. Anthony sat on the chair beside me, his head in his hands, but with my words he was instantly alert.
“What?”
“That hello. That hello that started everything.”
And everything that we would become and endure all started with a very simple, “Hello.”
He grinned. “Of course I remember that hello.”
“The hello that started it all,” I breathed, closing my eyes.
He laughed shortly, sitting back in his chair. “What would we do without Nurse Martin?”
As I thought of her face, I couldn’t help but smile. “We wouldn’t be here, that’s for sure.”
“And that bucket list of yours wouldn’t be completed.”
I mused this for a moment. “Can you get that for me?”
“The bucket list?”
“Yeah, and a pen.”
So he did, and he returned with the paper. It was heavily torn now.
“Why’d you need that?”
“I have to cross off number three.”
“What’s that?”
My eyes met his. “Find the thing that makes me happiest.”

3. Find the thing that makes me happiest.
*          *          *
I had begun to eat less and sleep more, and I would grow sleepy at random times of the day. Like, maybe at around eleven in the morning, though I’d only been awake for three hours.
Everyone seemed to understand, and wanted to help out. My mother brought me lunches and Morgan and Aidan kept me occupied with stories and they attempted games, but the games only lasted as long as I could keep my concentration for.
Anthony was just always there.
We laid in bed together one night when I asked him, “When did you first realize you were in love with me?”
“When we were at Alex’s grandmother’s house,” he told me immediately, like an instinct. “When we both slept on the hardwood floors together and I woke up and you were still sleeping. I remember looking at you and thinking about how beautiful you looked.” He paused to look at me. “That’s when I first realized I was in love with you.”
I wanted to continue off of what he said; I wanted to branch off of it. But the only words that slipped from my lips were, “I’m afraid to die.”
I could tell he didn’t know how to respond, and I wish I hadn’t said it. I wish I controlled myself.
“Anthony, listen,” I sighed, deciding that there was no better time to say this than now. “I’m dying, and it’s kind of inevitable. But you’re not. You’re here, and you’re young, and you’re on the road to being healthy. So don’t stop living your life because I stopped living mine.”
His entire body stiffened. “What?”
“You told me death was a part of life. It is, it’s natural. It happens every day. The world doesn’t stop when someone dies. And you were right. So when I’m gone, you have to stay.”
Instead of replying with a spoken word, he answered with a tight squeeze of his arms around my thinning body and a kiss to my cheek. I took that as a goodnight, and I fell asleep peacefully in his arms.


So there are two chapters left. lol.
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in his arms
Chapter 62
For a while I felt better. I felt stronger with more energy. I slept less and ate more, and I could feel myself gaining weight back. I could feel my body healing itself.
It was short-lived, though. After about four weeks, we’d all realized that was only because the weight of chemo was no longer on my body.
Anthony never left my side for the following weeks. He slept in the space beside me in my bed, he kept my head on his chest when we sat on the couch and our fingers intertwined when we ate meals. He was already awake when I first opened my eyes, and as I drifted off to sleep, he kept his eyes on me.
He needed to watch me. He never knew if any breath I took would be my last.
Aidan and Morgan spent a lot of extra time around me as well. They were always asking if I was alright, if I needed anything, how I was feeling. They were around me constantly, giving Anthony and I very little time alone together.
So when they took a daytrip out to some stores, we took advantage of it.
We laid on the couch together, him just holding me. He played with my fingers in his, enjoying the simple sound of the breath entering and leaving my body.
I felt awful for Anthony. I wasn’t a wife anymore. I wasn’t a best friend or a lover. I was a child now. I needed the constant care, I needed the constant support and I was unable to give anything to him in return, though he probably needed it more than I did.
“How are you really?” he murmured to me casually.
I had grown so used to saying, “I’m fine,” or, “I’m okay,” that I almost said those words again. But as I took a breath, I realized I could say whatever I wanted. Anthony was my husband. This was the man I trusted more that I’d ever trusted anyone.
So I was honest. “I’m angry.”
“About what?”
“I’m sixteen. I should be thinking about when I’ll be getting my license, maybe even college. Now I’m thinking about my death. It’s unfair.”
“I’m angry too.”
“Sometimes I just lay awake thinking about how f.cking angry I am. About how unfair this is. But I can’t show it, that’s not fair to everybody else.”
“Don’t hide anything, Kail. I mean, we’re here to support you.”
“That’d be selfish of me to do. I wouldn’t do that.”
He didn’t respond, so the room returned to silence. I’d said what I wanted to say, I hadn’t anything else to get off my chest. Not at that moment, at least.
Morgan and Aidan returned home eventually to sit in the den with us. Anthony’s words repeated in my head. We’re here to support you. Don’t hide anything.
So I turned to Morgan. “I kind of wish Dad was here.”
“Why?”
I noticed my mother in the kitchen. “I don’t know. I guess it’d be nice.”
“He doesn’t deserve to be here,” she grumbled.
There was about ten seconds of silence before I heard my mother squeak, “Kaitlyn?”
My head rolled to look at her, slightly surprised. She hadn’t initiated conversation with me since I was in middle school. She had stains of tear tracks down her cheeks. “Yeah, Mom?”
“I’m sorry, Kaitlyn,” she breathed through sobs. “I love you and I’m sorry.”


I hate this chapter. And I hate that my quotes keep getting removed. Like, ugh.
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in his arms
Chapter 61
I had to leave Anthony’s hospital room to vomit in the bathroom just down the hall. My breathing shortened and I felt incessant tears roll down my cheeks. I pinched my eyes shut, hoping that if I blocked out my vision, it would block out everything else too.
That wasn’t the case.
I didn’t return to Anthony’s hospital room that day, or any day following. I couldn’t look him in the face. I couldn’t be around him. Not with the guilt I felt.
*          *          *
I remained unmoving from my bed. This was the fourth day straight that I’d just laid there. A pool of tears collected on my cheek from past days, and it felt like as the weather grew colder and more desolate with the upcoming winter, so did the rest of my life.
A gentle rapping on the door was heard, but I ignored it, just like I had everything else. It wasn’t dinnertime yet, so whatever I was being called for was unimportant.
Though I hadn’t given the person permission to come in, they did anyways. “I didn’t say come in,” I growled.
“You also didn’t say stay out.”
I knew the voice all too well. I flipped over on my bed, sitting up now. “Anthony?”
He breathed deeply. “Hey, Kail.”
I just stared at him for a moment. “I didn’t think you’d come.”
“Why not?”
I bowed my head. “I thought you hated me.”
He took a seat on my bed beside me. “That’s… ridiculous. I just needed time to think.”
“About what?”
“Everything.”
His hand brushed over mine so gently, like he was afraid of touching me. “Don’t treat me like I’m so fragile,” I kidded, nudging him. “I’m not like that.”
“I’ve always treated you fragile,” he hummed. Before I could comment on it, he blurted, “Look, Kail, I’m sorry. I’m sorry about everything that’s happened. I mean, I need to be here. I need to be with you, I need to help you. I need to spend as much time with you as I can.”
“The doctors said I could have years left.”
“They also said you could only have weeks.”
I swallowed my words.
“I love you,” he told me. “And, I just, I don’t know. My entire life has kind of been sporadic and random, like there was nothing stable. And you were the first thing in my life to ever be stable. You were the first thing that was always there, no matter what. And I saw myself with you. I found myself with you, and I found a future with you.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, the words wouldn’t fit in my mouth properly. “I’m here,” I murmured, because it was all I could promise. It wasn’t much, but it was enough. “For now, at least, I’m here.”

 
I think Witty finds pleasure in being an absolute f.cktard. If Chapter 60 didn't show up on your feed, then it's Witty's fault, and go read it now. It only got like 30 faves and apparently there was a swear even though the whole 'Holy Ship' thing didn't come up. But yeah. If it does that again I might have a panic attack. Just saying.
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in his arms
Chapter 60
“Yes?” I asked as soon I was within range.
“This way, please,” she murmured, leading me through the door and down a long corridor. We turned down many hallways. I had to make sure I followed close behind her, or else I’d get lost.
“How is he?” I inquired desperately.
“He’s fine,” she told me, not looking up from her clipboard.
“Is he okay? Will he be okay?”
She grinned at me as she pulled another door open. “Well, why don’t you ask him yourself?”
I stepped inside the room and I found him there, laying on the bed. His eyes were opened but dreary, and I could tell the smile on his face was forced.
I was close to tears at that point. “Anthony?”
“The medication hasn’t exactly worn off yet,” the nurse told me. “He’s still kind of waking up.”
I exhaled heavily through my nose, feeling a warm rush flow down my cheek. “Hi.”
He grinned. “Hi.”
I crossed the room to sit beside him. “How are you?”
“I’m, well, getting by, I guess.” He took my hand in his. “How are you? How’d the appointment go?”
I felt my heart slump inside my chest. “Well,” I murmured, sitting.
I had his full attention now. “What?”
“Did they get the entire tumor?” I asked, trying to change the subject.
He eyed me suspiciously. “Yeah. They said it’s possible that I might need physical rehab for the damage done during the seizure, but other than that, it went fine.”
“I’m surprised you can talk now.”
He smirked. “I was pretty heavily medicated for a good eight hours. But, hey, I guess this is a good thing, right?” I nodded gently. “So how about that meeting you had?”
I should’ve known better than to think he would’ve forgotten it. “It was productive.”
“Productive in what way?” He knew I was hiding something.
“Productive meaning there was a big decision made.”
“What was that?”
I took a deep breath. “I’m not continuing the chemo treatments.”
His eyes were fairly disconcerted. “Why?”
“It had no effect on the cancer.”
He flinched, as if I had hit him. “So, what treatment are they starting you with?”
“They’re not.”
His eyes widened, and I wondered if he might cry. “So you’re not doing anything about it?”
“No.” Every word was ripped from my throat, so much so it actually hurt.
“Kaitlyn,” he breathed, “you’re just letting yourself die? You won’t fight?”
“I’ve been fighting,” I told him. “I’m tired, Anthony, I can’t keep fighting.”
I saw the utter hopelessness in his eyes as he murmured breathlessly, “Kaitlyn, I can’t lose you.”


This chapter wasn't showing up and had a swear somewhere, so I'm reposting it. Hopefully it's all good now.
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in his arms
Chapter 59
“Why?” Morgan questioned immediately.
“Well,” the doctor murmured, flipping through some papers, “we’ve noticed that the chemotherapy wasn’t helping your body, only hurting it.”
Morgan and I glanced to each other, sort of breathless. Her eyes darted back to the doctor.
“So why’d you keep her on the chemo for so long?”
“Because sometimes the blood tests reveal false success.”
“So what does that mean?”
“It basically means that we’ve been hurting her more than we’ve been helping.”
Their conversation seemed to echo around me. I couldn’t understand anything they were saying. I was completely lost in my own thoughts. Was I really dying? At sixteen, with so much life ahead of me? Was all that chemo treatment worthless?
Was I actually dying?
Morgan’s sharp words snapped me back to reality. “So not only is her time limited, but you’ve helped to decrease it?”
“No,” the doctor answered immediately. “No, there are other treatment options. We can do—“
“No,” I interrupted before he could start. “No, I don’t want any more treatment.”
Morgan’s eyes widened at me before looking coolly back to the doctor. “No, look, she’ll take the treatment—“
“No, I won’t, Morgan,” I hissed at her. “I’ve suffered enough. I don’t want my death to be dragged out any longer.”
Morgan trembled slightly in the seat beside me. “Kaitlyn,” the doctor hummed, “there are other options–”
“Stop trying to persuade me. It’s my body. I’ll do what I want. I don’t want any more treatment.”
“You’re young, Kaitlyn! Just think!” Morgan shrilled at me.
“I’m dying, alright?” I spat at her. As I said the words aloud for the first time, they finally hit me, just how real they were. “I’d rather spend the last few months of my life in peace than agonizing pain.”
"You don't have to die!" she shrilled.
"I want to be remembered as peaceful in my death, not haggard and barely breathing. I don't want any more treatment."
The room was silent for a while after that. The only thing heard was breathing.
“Okay,” the doctor said indefinitely. “No more treatments.”
“How long does she have?” Morgan asked. Her breathing trembled.
He shrugged. “It depends. It could be two months, it could be twelve years. I guess it’s all based on how her body reacts to the stoppage of the chemo. I mean, even by chance of a miracle, the cancer could go away.”
He didn't seem so confident in himself.
We were dismissed from the hospital that day, but I wasn’t leaving. I had a husband who was still in there fighting for his life, though mine was already limited.
*          *          *
A nurse appeared in the doorway of the small waiting room. “Miss Thompson?” she murmured gently, and I immediately stood. I’d been waiting for hours in the same chair, staring blankly at walls, my mind racing with a billion thoughts.
“Yes?”
“Come here. I’d like a word with you.”


So your thoughts? (:
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in his arms
Chapter 58
“It’s a fourteen hour procedure,” the nurse informed both Anthony’s mother and I. We already knew everything we were being told, but we were listening to every word she said like our lives depended on it. “You’ll be able to see him tomorrow, or as soon as he’s stable.”
She said that like he was guaranteed to be stable again. I glanced over to him, my eyes burning from the stationary tears that waded in them.
He wasn’t nervous in the slightest. His eyes perked up to mine, and a grin stretched across his face.
“He’ll be all set to go home in about three to four days,” the nurse continued.
And suddenly, I hated the nurse. Just the sound of her voice made me want to cry.
I heard Anthony chuckle from across the room. “I’ll be alright, Kail,” he told me.
The nurse smiled to me. “He’s in good hands.”
Shut up, I wanted to say. Stop trying to act like he’s okay when you know all too well that he’s not. But all I could muster out was, “I know.”
She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, directing the smile to him now. “Are you ready to be taken into the operating room?”
I stood from my chair, my breath shortening as she wheeled his bed towards the door. I looked his entire body over and realized that this might have been the last time I’d ever get to see him. So I breathed in deeply and uttered an, “I love you.”
As the bed passed by me, I felt his hand brush mine as our eyes met. His were smiling, mine were miserable. “I love you too.”
*          *          *
It was the same day that Morgan had scheduled a meeting with my doctor. They had taken some blood tests, and they wanted to discuss the results with me.
Morgan and I waited in a familiar room together. I could’ve very well been in this room before, but at the same time, all the rooms looked the same.
“What do you think this is about?” I asked her.
Her eyes were on mine for a split second. “I don’t know.”
“When you were on the phone with them, did it sound like good news?”
“They didn’t tell me anything.”
“But their tone. Like, did they sound happy?”
“They sounded normal.”
She wasn’t being cooperative, so I sat back in my chair and waited. I was holding my breath, half because I was nervous about Anthony and half because I was nervous about myself as well.
Eventually, the doctor did enter the room. He greeted the both of us, and then, looking me dead in the eye, said, “So, Kaitlyn, we’re going to stop your chemotherapy treatments.”


Feedback, lovelies.
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in his arms
Chapter 57
I drew another heart on the margin of the paper. It was riddled with them now; I drew to keep myself occupied.
“How much is left on that bucket list, anyways?” Anthony asked me.
I swallowed hard. “Two bullets.”
“What are they?”
“Numbers three and twenty-five,” I answered, hoping he wouldn’t push any further.
But he did anyways. “What are they, Kail?”
“Number three’s ‘Discover the thing that makes me happiest.’”
He grinned, closing his eyes gently. “And number twenty-five?”
I kept my eyes on the paper. “It doesn’t matter.”
He rolled his head to look at me, his brow furrowed. “Why won’t you tell me?”
“Because it doesn’t matter,” I repeated.
He exhaled shortly. “I’m your husband, Kail. Aren’t we supposed to trust each other?”
“Aren’t we supposed to have an idea of privacy?” After a moment, he grinned widely and I heard him laughing to himself. “What?”
“Kaitlyn, neither of us know what privacy is. Remember how be both broke into each other’s hospital rooms when we were clearly unwanted?”
I did remember that. I remembered first starting chemo and wanting nothing other than solitude but instead finding a boy who was there to keep me company. I remember pushing open Anthony’s bathroom door to find a blood-covered room and a trembling boy beside the toilet.
“So are you going to tell me number twenty-five, or no?”
“No.”
He snorted. “Now you know how I felt when you pestered me about not crying in front of you. Remember, at Alex’s grandmother’s house?”
I did remember. “You still haven’t cried in front of me.”
“We’ve been over this,” he moaned. “I don’t like to upset you.”
“Touché. That’s why I’m not telling you number twenty-five.”
“You won’t upset me. I’m hard to upset.”
I brought my eyes up to his. “To die around the people I love,” I told him.
“What?”
“Number twenty-five is to die around the people I love.”
He grimaced. “That’s on your bucket list?”
“It’s my bucket list,” I told him defensively.
He snorted. “That’s not the point of a bucket list.”
I glanced up to him. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that a bucket list should be written from an inspirational point of view. A bucket list should have a bunch of things that you want to accomplish in your life. A bucket list shouldn’t have things about your death. That’s not the point.”
I pushed my eyes back to the list. “I told you you’d get upset.”
“I’m not upset. I’m speaking logically right now.”
“Well, I didn’t ask for your opinion.”
He didn’t respond for a while, so I glanced up to him and found his eyes shut as he faced the ceiling, a solitary tear rolling down his cheek.
I knew I should’ve regretted telling him number twenty-five, but it was the first thing I said that allowed him to cry in front of me.


My brother had his championship basketball game today. He won, obviously.
But the refs had to talk to me for the second time this weekend about my 'over-supportive behavior.' lol I have no self control in those games.

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in his arms
Chapter 56
“What are you thinking?”
My weary eyes found his as I sat in the chair by the window. The only time I’d left the chair all night was to get some water and to use the bathroom.
I sighed. “Nothing, to be honest.”
He grinned at me. “You’re exhausted.”
I shook my head. “I’m not.”
“Kaitlyn,” he moaned, “I know you better than you think I do.”
“I’m not tired. I’m okay, really.”
“You’ve been awake all night.”
“It doesn’t matter if I’m tired,” I growled, agitated now. “I don’t want to go to sleep.”
“Why not?”
My eyes found his. “I don’t want to leave you again.”
“I’m fine,” he promised soothingly. “Please, just go to sleep.”
After spending what seemed like forever gazing into his eyes, I felt myself drift off into the perfect tantalize that was sleep.
Sleep is death enjoyed. That’s a famous quote I heard somewhere, but I’m not entirely sure who said it. It’s completely true. Sleep is a momentary lapse in time where you are allowed to be gone. You’re allowed to be painless and possibly happy where you bathe yourself in your own fantasies. You don’t need to uphold the stress that is kept on your shoulders.
But it has to end. You have to wake up, you have to face reality eventually.
Just like everything else, sleep is only temporary.
That’s something many people don’t understand. Everything is only temporary. They fall for the illusion that everything is infinite. They seem to think that the people they trust now will be the people who will never betray them. They like to think the people they love now will always be there. I guess I was like that, too. A stupid fool.
Nothing is forever. Nothing is completely guaranteed. You are not promised tomorrow. The people you love are not promised tomorrow. Nothing is vowed and anything can happen.
I awoke with these thoughts in my head without the slightest idea of how they got there. The first sight I saw when I woke up was Anthony.
“It’s kind of upsetting,” I murmured to myself.
“What is?” he asked, overhearing me.
“The fact that nothing’s guaranteed.”
He pondered the thought for a moment. “Well, there is one thing.”
“What’s that?”
He rolled his head to look at me. “The only thing life guarantees is death.”


So my teacher, an author I'm in contact with, and the few editors I'm talking to are absolutely convinced I'm going to get my book published.
*I don't notify, please don't ask.*

in his arms
Chapter 55
Before I could react, he blurted, “Just kidding. I’m just kidding, Kail. I know who you are.”
I couldn’t hold back my tears any longer. “Anthony!” I hissed, slapping his shoulder. “Don’t ever do that to me again!”
He flinched away from my touch, laughing shortly. “I was kidding! I’m sorry!”
I slumped into the chair beside his bed, too emotionally and physically drained to keep myself standing any longer. I buried my face in my hands. “Oh my God, Anthony. I’ve never been so scared.”
“Hey,” he crooned, placing a cold hand over my knee. “I’m alright. I was just screwiing with you.”
I tried to regulate my breathing, sitting back in the chair. I felt the tears streaming down my face as I inhaled another deep breath.
Inhale. Exhale. That was the only thing my mind processed.
“Well,” I heard the nurse say, “at least you got him to speak.”
“He’d been talking for a while,” the other nurse, who was a male, told her.
“Well, Anthony,” she huffed, “like I was just telling your mother and wife, you’ve just suffered a seizure.”
His face suddenly went grave and his eyes wide as he looked up to her. “Really?”
“Yes. We believe it’s from the brain tumor. As of right now,” she told him, shutting the door, “you’re lucky you can speak.”
His chest rose and fell in deep, smooth breaths. He looked away from everyone, making no eye contact.
“Now, our plan is to keep you in the hospital until your scheduled brain surgery. We understand that’s coming up fairly soon?”
“October 15,” he muttered lowly.
The ends of her lips turned up into a slight smile. “Well then, you’re here for two days. I would probably suggest that you don’t leave the room, or the bed, even. You really need to rest up, this is a big operation you’re having done.”
“Okay,” he grumbled, quite rudely.
“Well, how are you feeling now?” his mother asked; I could tell she was anxious to talk to him.
The nurses and I left them to have time alone together. I waited in a chair just outside the hospital room, afraid to leave him again. Just a few minutes later, his mother exited the room, tears staining her cheeks.
“He wants to see you,” she told me, smiling through her tears. So I stood from my chair and, without a word towards her, went into his room.
“I’m sorry, Kail,” he told me, his head bowed.
“Stop, Anthony. Really.” He gritted his teeth hard, clenching his fists into ballls. I took the seat beside his bed and placed a hand over his. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
I knew him too well. Smiling, I murmured, “No, I know what’s wrong.”
His eyes found mine. “What?”
“You’re so used to putting your illness in the back of your mind. You’re so used to thinking that you’re stronger than it, and you’ve never really considered the consequences. But today, today showed you you’re not as strong as you wish to be.”
He rolled his eyes, sighing heavily. “Reality really slaps you in the face when something unthinkable happens.”
“Well, reality knocked me out today,” I murmured, caressing his hand. “I thought I lost you.”
“I promised you wouldn’t lose me,” he breathed, flashing me a smile. “Not today.”


lol. did i scare you? (;
btw there's 10 chapters left just saying.

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