xxbookwormxx

Status:
Joined: April 14, 2009
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 73506

I'm not your average girl. For awhile, I thought I was but this summer something happened to change that. You see my best friend, who I'd known the whole 16 years of my life, told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say. I loved him, no doubt but I wasn't in love with him. I rejected him. He went to go see his sister. He said he had to get away from this misery. My heart ached for him. I didn't know why hurting him hurt me so much. I didn't know why being away from him was so difficult for me. I didn't know why and then it hit me. I loved him. I tried so hard to call him. I had to tell him. He didn't answer his phone. He rejected my call as easily as I had rejected him. I called and called and called. It had been my tenth time attempting to call when someone answered. It was not him. He was in a car accident and they wanted me to confirm the body. My best friend, the man I love is dead because I was too dumb to see what was there. I love him and hate myself...

R.I.P. John.
I love you, always.

Quotes by xxbookwormxx

 
Truth be told
You don't know what you had

Until its gone </3



To my best friend

The one who loved me
((simply because I'm me))
The one who left this earth
His last words to me being:
"I want to be more then friends"
The last words I spoke to him where
A rejection
If I could go back
I'd tell him what I know now
I love him. But he's gone...
R.I.P. The only man I'll ever love

"I love you." he said.

"Please, please don't. Don't make me do this to you."

"I love you so much. I want to be with you. I want to hold you and love you. I want to introduce you as my girlfriend. I want to hold you in my arms. I want you. You know that as well as I do." He almost shouted.

"I- I don't... I can't- I wish..." She stuttered. She didn't want to hurt him.

"I know. You don't love me."

He walked away. He left. She didn't want him. He needed to get away from that place...

A week later, he was dead. Dead!! And that's when she realized she loved him. She was in love with him. It's her own damn fault...

"Why couldn't I love you?" She whispered to the tombstone. But she knew. She made him suffer, so now its her turn...

YoUr DrUnK NaMe
add your name to this list, but do it with your elbows & you CANT erase!
If you dont do this within 10 minutes you will lose your 1 true love tommorrow repost as YoUr DrUnK NaME! !!...the easiest way is to highlight wat u repost this as and copy it in the subject box
1.​ygaberioep;​[​lop - GABRIEL
2.cxdorteruy?" - COREY
3.Mr.taco himenez-junior
4.sAPZIKZ ykksks - jason
5.lujixs dernhorttgaz-​lus 
6.​dswefd​​ caroline <33
7.SZa4raQCX HJKCXOM, OLMN TYREXZ-SARA C :D
8.​ujjdfjdfuhjdjuh​dskijdfrujikesd​hjny-​ Brianna Mccormack (:
9.fgvbza bddddse-Gabe
10.jk0ohn-john
11. trflklnmewr- Topher
12.kaz65teelyunm-katelyn
13. cxhr,zsa - CHRIS XD
14. ssamanbtgha-samantha
15.  allison - allison...wow am i the only one who can do this?
16. te4shya - Pretty Closeeee. - Tesha(:
17. klzat5r5a- haha far off.  Kara(;
18. iu,luyhj vsdxasm, oplassd- iluvsamoas woooow thats a strange name
19 zsahnjAZerkl.kinmj - shaelin it says zerk in my name ^.^ 
20.alkyhssaz - alyssa haha i was wayyyy off :P 
21.kelwse3y- kelsey hahaha pritty good                                                                       

22. erfkjin j- erin!!  heeey not too badd!! 
23.saaqwsaqsw-haha suppposed to be Sarah 
24. hasnnah- hannah lol not too badd 
25.k4eatlo n- keaton. haha wowww.~ i suckkkk.! haha
26. aBBHY OHH! so close!!
27,melsn iedws-melanie
28.) OSDVC- I was aiming for OSC, close enough? lol =]
29. baIULKEYT-Bailey lol i tried!!
30. annie -annie. wow im good =)

31.kasyklas-kayla...ahah

32.jacqaujelyyn-jacquelyn..haha
  
33. dem il.eded- emilee. lmfaooo
34. madeline         omg i did it!!!! my name is madeline btw
35. pol9gf -- liv
36. aqswhylkoery6u7- Ashley. Woww im bad at thiis.
37.  aqmANSDA- AMANDA lolll


38. keara-keara. ha! that was eassyy.

39. brfkoikgyttgyzsn hygu-brittany :'( awww i did sooo badd!!!!
40.b;loklsde-blake

41.xdchrf8i9saytio9qwajhnmew-christiane
41.jhds nmnsa- jennaa ( wow i stink!! loll!!!
42.    ellen-ellen! Yay! i win!
43. katelyn -katelyn. wow you people up there must have big elbows (:

44. allie- Allie. bony elbows come in handy...
I'm not the only one
who's had there heart broken
& I know I'm not the last one
we girls have to stick together
to show each other;; we are not alone

haven't you noticed
how every word was a lie?
haven't you seen how you were nothing?
haven't you cried enough to know?
he wasn't worth it, honey.
l e t  h i m  g o


"I wish you'd love me."

"So do I. You deserve the best but lets face it, I'm not that. I've tried so hard. I just can't love you. You're my best friend and I want, so badly, to make you happy. I want to love you the way you love me, but I can't get past the brotherly love. I hate myself."

"Don't. Don't hate yourself. You are the most beautiful girl I've ever met. You are the best; nothing can compare to you. Don't ever hate yourself for not loving me. It's not your fault. It's not mine, either. It's fate and destiny working against me. I hate this more then you can imagine but I accept it."

"Please, please don't say another kind word towards me. I don't deserve it."

"But I will because I'll always love you..."

At that he walked away, a tear in his eye, wanting, longing, and broken hearted while she stood there hating herself more then anything but there was not a thing she could. She couldn't force himself to love him and neither could he.

A week later, after he swore that he'd never love again and that he was better off dead, he was in a car going to see his sister who lived out of state, and a drunk driver hit his car. He died right then and there.

She never loved another man.
& what if life threw you a lemon
To hard to make lemon aid with?
What if, the boy you "love"
Turns out to be just your best friend
What if, he doesnt know your feelings
Have been changed.
What if, the boy
Who changed your mind about the
Boyfriend has a girlfriend.
What if, you are very envious of this girlfriend?
What do you do, you cant hurt your best friend
But you also want the other guy
But thats just pointless because he has a girlfriend...