xxkeeping_it_realxx56

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Them: Oh my god, you're so dumb.
Me: Whatevaaa.
Them: Ew, you're fat.
Me: So, bro?
Them: Ugh, you're annoying!
Me: Haha, I know ;)
Them: Country music sucks.
Me: You will die a slow, painful death. Start. Running.

• click to see this quote •

i have
athazagoraphobia
[ the fear of being replaced, ignored, forgotton]
 

When I was little,

I always wondered if I'd be pretty in high school. Now, I wonder if the past me would find the present me to be pretty. Anyone else?

Listen

Chapter 7
RYAN
Liza’s hand formed into a fist as she signed the third letter of my name.
I mimicked her movements, and finally she showed me the n.
I spelled my name in sign language once more for her, and she smiled and clapped her hands.
Her smile brought this glow to her, her beautiful brown eyes danced with happiness.
I have truly never felt this way with someone before.
Definitely never this way with Sydney.
I checked around the library again.
It had been 10 minutes and Ellis still wasn’t back from the bathroom.
I shrugged it off anyway. I liked being alone with Liza.
She was really something.
“Do you want to learn the whole alphabet?” she wrote on the whiteboard.
I nodded. “Only if you’ll teach me,” I said.
I found it amazing that she could read lips like that. I could never.
She nodded.
We began from the very beginning, starting with a. We got about halfway through, and that’s when I started making mistakes and messing up.
I got frustrated with myself, but Liza laughed it off.
She had incredible patience.
She had taught me the whole alphabet and told me to recite it to her, by myself.
I raised my hand in the air, and began to sign.
I stopped at h, forgetting the sign. I fished through my brain, trying to remember.
My struggles seemed to amuse her. She laughed.
I’ve never heard her laugh before.
It was a sweet little laugh; quiet and gentle.
“Your laugh is beautiful,” I said, grinning.
Her smiles faded, and she looked to the side, trying to hide her blushing cheeks.
I chuckled to myself. She did that a lot.
I guess she never really received complements like that.
But everything I said to her was true. I meant it all.
“Hey, since you’re teaching me sign language, maybe I can teach you to speak?” I wrote.
I handed her the whiteboard, and she looked it over.
She looked up at me, her eyes questioning.
“Sure,” she wrote, breaking her stare.
I smiled, just as the bell rang.
“Great, let’s meet back here tomorrow. Half of study hall we can do sign, half we can do speech,” I said.
She smiled faintly and nodded.
“See you in a few minutes okay? I’ll save you a seat,” I said, heading off to lunch.
She nodded and opened her tote bag, looking around for her lunch.
I turned into the hallway, and walked toward the cafeteria.
“Ryan,” I heard Ellis say behind me.
I turned around.
“Hey man! You never came back! Where were you?” I said, walking closer to him.
“I did, I just hid behind the bookshelves…”
A long pause. Ellis lowered his voice.
“Thanks Ryan. Nobody’s ever been that sweet and honest to her like that. I’ve never even gotten the guts to teach her to speak. She’s really insecure about it. She doesn’t know what she’ll sound like—if she’ll sound any good.”
“Hey man, its no problem,” I said, holding my hands up.
I turned back around to walk to lunch.
“Ryan?” Ellis said.
I turned around again.
“Yeah?”
“Don’t break her heart okay? She really likes you. I’ve got that…best friend telepathy,” he said.
I smiled.
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”