xxmermaids104xx

Status:
Joined: April 27, 2009
Last Seen: 8 years
user id: 74701

HI, I'm Alyce

I am a 16 so music is pretty much my life. I love my friends, but they aren't real friends. I don't know who I am, but I know who I want to be. I don't know where I am going, or where I am, but I know where I wanna end up. i am misunderstood, misjudged, mistaken, mislead, and misdefined. I am who I am. Haters gonna hate, critics gonna critique. But, I still am.










 

FAVORITE MUSIC BANDS
 Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Paramore, 3 Doors Down, Evanescence, The Veronicas, Michael Jackson, Jessie J, Joan Jett, The Runaways, Elvis, Beatles, Pearl Jam, My Chemical Romance, Tokio Hotel, Shinedown, Avril Lavign, Kerli, t.A.T.u., The Birthday Massacre, Envy on the Coast, Marilyn Manson, Papa Roach, Breaking Benjamin.


Quotes by xxmermaids104xx

this is just a rant, feel free to bypass it. TWILIGHT SAVED MY LIFE. Yeah you read that right. That book series/movie series that always geta trashed saved me from suicide. In sixth grade i was going through tough times, and i wanted to kill myself. i was so close but then i picked up this amazing book my brother had to read for high school. The characters became my friends and my life savers; i stopped cutting because of them. Now all i see and hear is how horrible people think it is. Every one is intitled to their own opinion, but at the expense of others? Just keep your mouth shut i'm not asking you to watch it just dont talk smack when you know someone likes it. that is just rude. This series saved my life; i wouldnt be where i am today had i not picked up that book. whenever i hear some one trash it, especially my friends, it feels as though they are ridiculing my life. Sorry for the rant, it just had to be said.
I know no one will read this, and I guess I don't want them to. That makes me brave enough to say this.

I am a compulsive liar. None of my friends know who I really am, becuase everything that I've ever told them has been a lie. I can count on one hand how many truthful things I've said to my friends, who I've known for three years.

After saying all that, here is my reason why. In sixth grade, I let out a secret to a good friend of mine. It was something I hadn't really told anyone because I never saw reason to, but all the sudden I wanted to tell my friend. After a while my whole group of friends knew, and for a while I thought they were okay with it. (It wasn't anything bad like I killed someone or anything, just different and wierd) That was until I overheard them talking about how crazy I was, how wierd and different I was. I ran home crying for days after that. They called me a freak, and to this day I can not stand that word. I lost all my friends that year, which was difficult for me. I used to be popular, so it was difficult to go from being surrounding by people to being shunned by everyone. Eventually I made friends with people who had just transfered to my school. I obsereved and watche how "normal" kids reacted with their friends and mimicked it. I didn't want to be abandoned again. BUt the lies got too much and I started cutting. When I stopped, I developed trichotillomania and was laughed at becuase of this. Now during high school, I hide my scars and make them light enough that no one will see. I haven't cried since my grandpop died (he was the only person who has ever called me beautiful and accepted how wierd I am), and I have not let a single person know who I am. 

I've seen people look down on liars and spit on them in disgrace. But we aren't liars by choice. Something has happened that has crushed our trust in people, but we are so afraid of being alone we shape ourselves to look like we belong. It hurts and after a while you get so tired of the lies that you want to just stop. But you're in too deep and stopping would mean being alone again, and you just can't handle that. SO you keep sinking furthur and furthur into this hole you've dug for yourself until you can finally convince yourself that the lies are true and one day you'll go mad from not being able to distinguish the two but at least you won't have to deal with the struggle any more.

If you have stayed to read this long, thank you.

What Happened?

I used to go on witty so I could talk and
be listened to, but now
the only people who are
acknolegded are the ones who
are popular. Witty has become
just like high school:
we have the populars who get top quotes
every week, the aspirers
who wish to be like the populars,
and the undiscovered gems
who desperately need help, yet are
thrown under the rug because
their quotes aren't "cool" enough.
What happened witty?

I used to feel like I could finally
belong somewhere, like people would
look past the fact that I'm a mental f*ck up.
But no, even here I am excluded. So what
conclusion have I come to? I am nothing.
I am someone who is unworthy and
unfit to be in society. If your a loser on witty,
you a loser everywhere right? So I'm taking off from witty.
There is no longer a need for me to be 'here'. Goodbye

 Goodbye Grandpop.
I love you.
I hope you are enjoying having your legs back.

 
R. I. P. October 12 2011

Child, do not pity yourself
for a dream 
that did not come true:






The only ones who deserve pity
are those
who have never
had dreams of their own.

Ebner- Eschenbach Aphorismen

 

__________________________________
This quote is not for the people who died in the Twin Towers.

This is for the people on flight 93, who gave their lives to stop the

terrorist from crashing into the White House. These people were true

 heroes, and will always be in our hearts.

 

God Bless.
__________________________________

9/11/01

 




  

I would give up a thousand tomorrows without you for just  

><
ONE 
><
 
yesterday with you 

mine. no jocking please.
 

Will you be my valentine for
FOREVER
Not for a day?
Cause when this day is over know my feelings haven't changed

////____________________////
 No one I can trust
Feeling insecure.
What do you say
When your bloods on the floor?

 
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/
Thank You For   
 
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Believing
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Thank You For 

 BB