In movies, they have big long
paragraphs about how sorry they are or they copy things from
Shakespeare or something but I know you’re not one for sappy
love stories or things that come from my heart and frankly
I’m sick of writing my heart out in words cause believe it or
not, its actually difficult, and I’m not sure whether
I’m sorry… When I was little I met this guy, we
laughed, had fun and did what little kids did back then. He was my
mate. I fell for him, and I fell hard. Little did I know that this
guy would be the biggest complication of my life when I grew
up.
I’m older now and I have a lot more to worry about than boys,
trust me! But I was right you are by far the most intense,
complicated, confusing, worrying thing in my life. Every day I make
myself believe that I have to get over you because I always end up
the same, a mess with tears streaming down her face. I don’t
actually know what I did and that is the thing that is eating away
at my stomach every day. I don’t know. How can I not know? I
obviously didn’t mean to do anything bad if I can’t
remember?
I always say to you that I’m happy you’ve found someone
else and the truth is, im severely broken inside but I am glad
because I’d rather have other people happy than myself. And
if to do so, I have to let you be with another girl then so be it.
You have a child. That’s amazing and yes I felt overwhelmed
but children is literally the best possible thing that happens in
the world and im glad that you’ve been blessed with such a
beautiful one.
After sitting down for 4 days straight I finally came up with what
I was going to say in this… Yeah, long time. But everything
I say here I actually mean. There is a guy here who has my
back through thick and thin, he is my best friend and my worst
enemy at the same time. He is amazing and good-hearted and I could
go to him for anything. If you move on I always have people to go
to so I’ll be fine. I would never think of getting with this
guy cause he doesn’t want to be with me either but I
don’t mind cause all I want right now is a friend. I had that
in you when I needed it those couple of weeks ago, but this guy
doesn’t complain about me going on about my depressing life,
he understands and helps me through it. I guess I was sort of
expecting a person like that in you. That was my mistake. A leopard
doesn’t change his spots and I have learnt that in many
situations this year.
If you find all this confusing, yeah I understand. This is pretty
much just me word vomiting my mind.