*random number calls me*
me: Hello?
stranger: is this michelle
me: yea, who's this, and how'd you get my
stranger: i over heard you give it to your friend, but i need to ask you something
me: oh, am i secretly in an action movie, in which you need me to battle evil and save the Earth?
stranger: uhh, no, you stole my purple pen in 3rd period
me: O.O wrong number (in my head) *that pen is MINE*
cop: ma'am, you realize how fast you're going
woman: yes, 120 in a 45
cop: let me see your drivers license
woman: you can't
cop: why not?
woman: i dont have one
cop: open your glove compartment
woman: i can't, theres a gun in there
cop: *requesting backup* why?
woman: i killed a guy, and he's in the trunk
cop 2: ma'am, were you driving without a drivers license?
woman: NO! *shows him her license*
cop 2: open your glove compartment
woman: *opens it, and its empty*
cop 2: may i see the inside of your trunk
woman: yes *opens it, again its empty*
cop 2: ma'am i apologize for the time wasted, my partner gave me the impresion that you were driving without a license, had possesion of a gun, and comitted murder, please forgive us
woman: son of a b\tch probably told you i was speeding too huh?
cop
2: yes, again im sorry, carry
on
AND THATS
HOW YOU AVOID A SPEEDING TICKET