Quotes added on Friday, May 21 2004

walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some quackers. The
bartender explains that the bar doesn't have any quackers.

The next day, the same duck walks into the bar and asks the bartender for
some quackers. The bartender again explains that the bar doesn't serve
quackers.

Sure enough, the very next day, the duck again walks into the bar and asks
for some quackers. The bartender screams at the duck, "If you come in here
one more time, I'm going to nail your beak into the wall with a hammer and
some nails! "

A few days pass, and then the duck walks into the bar again.The bartender
notices the duck and says, "I'm warning you!"

The duck replies, "Do you have a hammer?"

The bartender replies, "No!"

The duck asks, "Do you have any nails?"

The bartender replies, "No!"

The duck grins and asks, "Do you have any quackers?"
A big, fat lady walks into a bar with a duck under her arm.
The bartender says," Hey, where'd you get the pig." She says,
"It's not a pig it's a duck." He says, "I was talking to the
duck."
Mrs. White asked her 4th grade class if they thought they were stupid and, if so, to please stand.
Little Jimmy stood up, alone.
Mrs. White said, "Jimmy, do you really think you're stupid?"
"No," Jimmy said. "But I didn't want you standing up there alone." v
Confused Child
Little Johnny came home from school with a note from his teacher saying that Johnny was
having trouble telling the difference between boys and girls, and would his mother please sit
down and have a talk with Johnny about this. So Johnny's mother takes him quietly by the hand
upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door.
"First, Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse",she said, so Johnny unbuttons her blouse
and takes it off. "O.K., now take off my skirt", and he takes off her skirt. "Now take off my
bra", which he does.
"And now, Johnny, please take off my panties". Johnny finishes removing these too.
His mother then says, "Johnny, PLEASE don't wear any of my clothes to school anymore!
A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries.
The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table.
"What are you doing," his mother asked?
"The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for
the seal."
A lady and her baby get on a bus. The bus driver looks at the lady, and then her baby, and
then screams, "AHHHH! That's the ugliest child I've ever seen in my life!"
The lady then, totally disgusted, marches up to the back of the bus to sit down.
As she was sitting there absolutely furious, a man asks, "Are you ok, dear?"
The lady replies, "I'm so angry, that bus driver just insulted me."
The man says, "You go back up there and give that bus driver a piece of your mind, and I'll watch your monkey."
I fell out of my chair, this MAY take a while!!!!
¤YoU tHiNk YoUr GoNnA mEsS wItH mY hEaRt,
¤ThEn StAy AwAy FrOm Me FrOm ThE sTaRt!
¤Going 2 see if...
¤Vegetarianz like animal crackerz!
     .--. .--.
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 _\/ \ 6    6 /
   \__\  '   /
       \'--'/ \__/_
       /\  /\    \
      /  \/  \
      \      /
 jgs  _\    /_
     (__\  /__) 

This may turn out disoriented, put it in a fixed font like Courier or Courier New
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