I am not currently available right now. However, if you would like
to be transferred to another correspondent, please press the number
that best fits your personality:
- If you are obsessive compulsive, please press "1" repeatedly.
- If you are co-dependant, please ask someone to press "2".
- If you have multiple personalities, please press "3", "4", and
- If you are paranoid delusional, we know who you are and what you
want. Just stay on the line so we can trace your call.
- If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the little voice
will tell you which number to press.
- If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter what number you
press, no one will answer.