Quotes added on Thursday, May 12 2005

love is when you'd die for the other person because
their life is more important than yours.
It's the way that he makes you fall in love <3
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
No Im KnOt DhUm aCtCh
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

<3
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
One afternoon Zach's mom brings home her lover. The two do their thing until, unexpectedly, her husband comes home early. Thinking quickly, she hides her lover in the closet. What she hadn't realized is that Zach was in the closet.

Zach: Dark in here, isn't it?
Lover: Sure is.
Zach: I have a baseball.
Lover: That's good.
Zach: Wanna buy it?
Lover: No.
Zach: I'll tell my dad about you.
Lover: Fine, how much?
Zach: $500

A few weeks pass, again Zach's dad comes home early when the lover is over. Again, the lover is stuffed in the closet; again, Zach is in there,

Zach: Dark in here, isn't it?
Lover: Yep.
Zach: I have a baseball glove. Wanna buy it?
Lover: Not really.
Zach: I'll tell my dad about you.
Lover: Fine! How much?
Zach: $500

Another few days pass. Zach's dad says, "Hey, sport. Let's go throw the baseball around." "I can't Dad," says Zach. "I sold my glove and ball." "For how much?" inquires the dad. "$1000" "That's not very nice. You shouldn't take advantage of your friends like that. That is way more than those are worth. I'm taking you down to church to confess."

So little Zach is driven down to church by his father. He gets in the booth.

Zach: Dark in here, isn't it?
Priest: Oh don't start that crap again!!
Trick me once,
Shame on you.
Trick me twice,
Shame on you again--
Cause that's mean!
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