It's so unfair
I've inadvertently placed you at the center of my world;made you my
everything while,to you, i'm just another one of your adoring
fans.
It's not right. My heart doesn't deserve this. I've had my heart
broken too many times and my love is too real for me to go through
this s*** once more!
I hate myself for loving you. I hate myself for ever being like
this in the first place. I only hurt myself this way. But we always
want what we can't have. I can't have you. So there. It's settled.
So, why can't I stop loving you yet? Why do I still want to think
of only you when I lay in bed at night?
It's such a vicious cycle for me. One day I'm madly in love with
one guy and the next, it's you and I swear to myself it was always
you.
Yes,you've rescued me from my previous heartache, the one before
you. But now, you're my problem as well as my love, my weakness.
Oh, that's all you do, is make me weak. So much so that I can't
make a move without you in the back of my mind. All this, and you
don't even know my name?
And I swear, if I didn't love you so much, I'd hate you for making
me feel this way too.
So, now I need someone to rescue me from you. To take me away to a
world where your blue eyes and blonde hair don't exist. I need to
escape you. I'm too far in as it is. I refuse to hurt myself again
this way, know that I will, it will happen, it will hurt.It will
hurt like hell. It always does. What hurts worse is that I can't
stop it. It hurts me like all hell to know that, to realize that I
have no capability of separating fantasy from reality. Please, let
me say farewell, sweet haunting fantasy!