. F u n n y . t h i n g s . t o . d o . i n . a n .
e l e v a t o r .
1) CRACK open your
briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
2) STAND silent and motionless
in the corner facing the wall without getting
3) WHEN arriving at your
floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if
you're embarrassed when they open
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger
for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of
THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each
8) SAY "I wonder what all
these do?" And push all the red
9) MAKE explosion noises
when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at
another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new
WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that
12) TRY to make personal calls on the
DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the
other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one
other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then
pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and
pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
16) ASK if you can push the
button for other people but push the wrong
17) HOLD the doors open and
say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors
close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day
18) DROP a pen and wail until
someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's
19) BRING a camera and take
pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight
attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the
21) SWAT at flies that don't
CALL out "Group hug" then enforce