& he told me that i had to
change
to make us close again
. act
different . talk different . be different
. but how am i ment to be
different
when being me is all i no how to be
?
- mums bf was the one that told me i needed to change .
We were walkinq on the
beach, barefoot. We stopped and
faced the water, it was
sunset. The wind was blowinq my
hair out of my face and then he kissed me, a soft, qental kiss, the
ones you only see in movies. A kind of kiss that made you forqet
the world. He pulled away and huqqed me. Then he whipered those
three little words that mean so much, that every qirl wants to
hear. "I love you."
And I automattically said "No." "No?" he asked.
"No you don't." "yes i do and one day you'll beleve
me." "No why can't you tell me that you love everything about me, that you'll never
break my heart, that you'll always be there for me, that you'll
never let me down." He looked down at me and shook his head.
"I wish I could tell you that, but i cant. I don't want you to
be hurt if I dont fuffill all of that, and I miqht break your
heart." "Well that's what love is." I looked at my
faded blue jeans and siqhed.
"Then I quess I don't love
you." "I quess not."
And today was one of the best
days Of my life since you
left... I learnt that just because
you left me And I know you never
cared.. I know they do.. They treat me as a
friend.. Not like a piece of
cardboard washedup
on the beach... You brought me
down.. Because you just wanted
someone togive you
sympathy Without having to return
the favour... But today those friends I
left behind So I could be friends with
you.. They treat me with
respect.. They accept my weirdness and
myjokes.. They accept me for
me.. Which is More than I can say
for you... I can't believe is took me so
long tofigure
out I don't need you.. I need
them.. I Am Finally
Free....
And now I see
life In a whole new way I'm starting to see the
positive side I still see some
bad But for once The good is bigger Today was a
miracle Even though it wasn't much
different Than any other
day.. It felt different I look back on
today And I smile There were negatives in
today But for the first time in my
life.. I feel it will be
okay.. I don't know how or why or
when... But it will be
okay.. And for the first
time I believe
it...
i
need help : so my bf is all sweet nd sexy nd loving wen we aone at
my house or wen its just us too but wen u get him out in public all
he will do is hug me he wnt hold my hand or kiss me or say i love
you !!!! wut do i do ??