Quotes added on Thursday, September 2 2010

I start school in like soon and people are telling me that its hard, horrible and scary but another people are saying its nbd and its fine.  Will someone PLEASE tell me how it reallly is?
One Day After A Big Rain Storm,

I saw a little girl in her driveway.

She was throwing worms into the grass.

I asked her what she was doing. She said that she was saving their lives because every creature, no matter how icky, gets a chance at life.

Isn't she lovely?

Page #4 (re-posted, errors fixed.)


Biology was almost over. Thank God. Every time Alexandria would take a glance at me she'd smile and then turn around and giggle to her sidekicks. Whatever. It was free period, hopefully I'd be able to get out of the classroom without being noticed by Sean. I know this sounds stupid, but I'd rather spend my whole free period in the bathroom. Or maybe, if I was lucky, my brother had free this period and he could take me home. I don't know why, but I missed my mom. I wanted to run up to her right now, and give her a huge hug. She hasn't gone one night without crying, ever since my grandpa died. But when her kids are home, she puts on a happy face. I wanted her to know that she could cry infront of me, I wanted her to know that I would be the one there for her, forever. I gave my mom a lot of respect, raising six children without a father, I mean sure, my grandfather was there, but it wasn't the same. I know that she felt bad for mysibblings and me, because we didn't have a father, but to be honest, all six of us were happy. My oldest sibbling is named Natasha, she's a senior in high school, I knew she wouldn't have a free period, because even as a senior, she took unnecessary classes, she already had more than enough credits to graduate. She was smart, I'm smart, but she's smarter. Next, comes my brother Dominick, a junior in high school, he's the class clown, star of the football team, every teacher loves him, smart, good-looking, and every teacher loves him. I'm not so sure how many girlfriends he's had. He only brings the really serious ones home, he only brought one home, her name was Kristy. Kristy and Dominick broke up, I don't really know why, though. Next in line, there's me. Jessica. After me, there's Bianca,she's in 7th grade, Bianca loves theatre. Next, there's the twins, Michael and Joseph. They're at that "terrible twos" stage. The bell rang, and brought me out of my thoughts of my mother and my sibblings. Immediately Sean entered my head. I was trying to be so distant from him, because I didn't want to fall for him, and I knew that if I did, I would easily go out with him. I rush out the door hoping and praying that I wouldn't see Sean. My prayers, were not answered, I guess I should have prayed a little sooner. "Hey cutie," Sean said. "Hey," I replied with a smile. Alexandria walked out, she gave me such a dirty stare. "Here, give me your books, where's your locker, I'll walk you to your locker and then we can go somewhere to talk for free period, sound good?" "Sounds good," I said, What was I doing to myself? Why couldn't I avoid him?! Sean took my books, I opened my locker and put them away. Sean waited for me. When I closed my locker, he grabbed my hand   and we held hands, his fingers inbetween mine. Everyone stared. We went to the library to talk, when we got there, I saw something, something I didn't want to see when Sean and I were holding hands! Oh God, here we go. 




Don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful.
They can all get fxcked, just
stay true to you.


i don't know what
i wanted;

but i know this



Well, I've had butterflies.

&  I used to die when he laughed .

that crooked smile that melted me  

  &  I thought I loved a guy before ♥             

But nothing can even compare to ;

what  I  feel  when  I'm  with  you .

There's nothing that can even explain

  it . Nothing that even comes close ;

So how about it, you and me? 

it makes me sick to my stomach when they're together.
hy do I have to be friends with her when every time I see them I feel nauseous?
why is life so difficult? 

Isn't she lovely?

Sean and I walked into the library. I immediately dropped his hand when I saw my older brother, Dominick, staring at me. He saw Sean and me holding hands. He stood up and started to walk over to us. He was about 5 inches taller than Sean. Dominick is 6 foot 2. Sean is about 5 foot 10. He came up to me, and grinned. "What up, Jessie Bear?" I hated when he called me that. It was my nickname, from when I was about 2. Well, actually I loved when my brother called me that, just, not in public. "Umm, nothing, it's free period what about you?" I replied to my brother. "Nothing, free period, too. I have free with Anthony." Oh no, Anthony was my cousin. He's a senior, and he was sitting with Dominick, watching Sean and I as we walked in holding hands. Anthony suddenly stood up and came over to me. "So, enough with the small talk, Dom, let's set stuff straight with Sean. Jess, go sit at the table." Anthony demanded. "No!" I replied, I wasn't going to let my brother and my cousin, who was equally as big as my brother, torment Sean like this. "Ok, fine, I don't care you can hear what we have to say." Anthony said. Sean stood there, with a blank look on his face. "Alright listen, this is my baby sister over here, I know your game, bro. If you hurt my sister, I'll hurt you, actually, Anthony and me will hurt you." Dominick said. "You play her, you even think about using her, that's it, you'll be humiliated infront of everyone. She's too good for your games, buddy." Anthony added. Although I was completely embarrassed, I kind-of respected my brother and my cousin. They had my back, no matter what. I loved them for that. Ever since my father left, my brother always tried to be "the man" of the house. But my grandpa was there, also. Now it's just my brother. He's got a lot of pressure on him. "I got it, I won't hurt her, she's too pretty to hurt." Sean replied to my cousin and my brother. "Exactly. She's too pretty. She's too good for you, so if you get her than you're lucky." I loved Dominick even more after he said that. "She could have any guy chasing after her, so you watch." I loved Anthony, too. "Alright, I got you." Sean said. Anthony and Dom gave Sean one last nasty look, and walked back over to their table. "Sorry about them, they're just watching out for me." I said to Sean. "Yeah, I know, I would never ever hurt you, obviously, but Dominick and Anthony are probably the two guys you don't want to fight with." "Yeah." "Wanna go to the cafeteria?" "Sure." Sean and I walked out of the library. "Bye Jessie Bear!" Dominick screamed from across the library. I blushed, I was embarrassed. "Jessie Bear? That's cute." Sean said, as he smiled. As soon as we got a safe distance from the library, Sean grabbed my hand, again. Butterflies shot up through my stomach. We sat in the cafeteria and talked the whole time. Sean put his number in my phone, as, "Sean is hott<33" I put my contact in as "I love Jess(:<3." The lunch bell rang, Sean told me he couldn't walk me to class because our classes were on opposite sides of the school. English honors, is what I had next. He had Gym. He told me he'd text me later, and we went our separate ways. 

Page #5.

I give up on this, I can't do it no more,
The pain that cut through, and the fake smile I wore.
Listening to your stupid excuses and useless lies,
You could never guess how much sadness I hide.
I can't help the jealousy I have for her,
Cause she seems more to you than we ever were.
I give up on all the lovey dovey crap you gave me,
You and I both know that we were never meant to be.
You wouldn't even reach for my hand if I walked away,
You don't even listen to a single world I ever say.
You wouldn't even make the effort to love me too,
You've kept it up for too long, I'm giving up on you.

- Sueey.
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