WHO IS JACK SCHITT?
For some time many of us have wondered just who
is Jack Schitt? We find
ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know
Jack Schitt!" Well,
thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an
intellectual way.Jack Schitt
is the only son of Awe
Schitt. Awe Schitt,
the fertilizer magnate, married O.
Schitt, the owner of Needeep
N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
produced six children: Holie
Schitt, Giva Schitt,
Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents'
objections, Deap Schitt
married Dumb Schitt, a high
school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe
Schitt divorced. Noe
Schitt later married Ted
Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she
wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as
Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married
Loda Schitt, and they
produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named
Chicken Schitt. Two of the
other six Schitt, were inseparable throughout Happens brothers in
a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper
announced the "Schitt-Happens
nuptials." The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarce. Bull
Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He
recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride,
Pisa Schitt. Now, when
someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct
Sincerely, Crock O.