THExTRUTHxIS
If only you knew how much I hate myself, if only you knew that
everynight before I met you, I thought about committing suicide,
and I've been deadly close to it. If only you knew how much I
loved you. If only you knew how much I'd give for you to love
me like you love her. If only you knew the truth. The truth is, I
cry every night. Knowing somehow, you've loved her more than
I could ever show. I wish I could tell you that I'm cutting
again. I wish you knew that I want to call you every night just
to tell you goodnight and I love you. But I know now that she has
that covered. I know that if I meant that much to you, you
wouldn't say those strong three words to her. If only I
knew, I wouldn't have showed you how much I loved you. I
would have never told you how I felt. I wouldn't be in this
position of writing this quote. There's soo much you
haven't figured out yet. The fact that I'm still alive is
because my friends keep me going, because there are people who
I've never met, and if they lost me, even though those people
and I have never met, they would take their life, or try to.
I'm getting this all off my chest now because maybe
you'll read this and know how much I love you. But, when I
saw that status... My heart dropped. The ice cold feeling spread
through my body. My body is still shaking because I keep thinking
about you. Maybe I have a disease, a disease that addicts me to
you. I want to be good enough. I want to make you happy like she
makes you. I want to make you feel amazing again. But, I know
it's a waste of my time to tell you all this because she has
that under control. Wow. I can't believe I'm still typing
this all. I don't know how to end it... I don't know what
else to say. I poured my heart out to you, I cut it out and
handed it to you. I should tell you all this now while I'm
venting I guess;
I don't eat, its rare that I eat an actual meal. My mom
thinks I'm anorexic, it's true, I am. I deny it because I
don't want to go to the doctor. And when I'm forced to
eat, I feel disgusting. I wish I wasn't such a freak, and I
wish I didn't love her like I do
THExTRUTHxIS
wittytruth
[I'm a lesbian so don't ask if you comment please]