Funny :D #4
I know a guy who called up the Home Shopping Network. They said
"Can I help you?" and he said "No, I'm just
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs.
Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed,
dying, and they won’t know why.
I failed my driver’s test. The guy asked me "what do
you do at a red light?" I said, I don’t know…
look around, listen to the radio…
After 12 years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that
brought tears to my eyes.. He said, "No
I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane
crash is they don’t want anybody walking in and lying down
in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they
just woke up and go, "What was that?!"
A guy asks a lawyer what his fee is. "I charge $50 for three
questions," the lawyer says. "That’s awfully
steep, isn’t it?" the guy asks. "Yes," the
lawyer replies, "Now what’s your final
An old woman is upset at her husband’s funeral. "You
have him in a brown suit and I wanted him in a blue suit"
The mortician says "We’ll take care of it,
ma’am" and yells back, "Ed, switch the heads on
two and four!"
I knew these Siamese twins. They moved to England, so the other
one could drive.
A man goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, my
brother's crazy, he thinks he's a chicken." The
doctor says, "Why don't you turn him in?" The guy
says, "We would. But we need the